GRADED: Academy Task 5 - Creating the Most Average S27 Rookie

GRADED: Academy Task 5 - Creating the Most Average S27 Rookie - Printable Version

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GRADED: Academy Task 5 - Creating the Most Average S27 Rookie - GedgeBrah - 2026-07-25

Creating the Most 'Average' S27 Rookie

Good ebening all
Welcome to my deep dive into the season 27 draft class (as of July 25th)

The Task:
- Create the most 'average' outfield player based upon the current season 27 draft class
- Get Cal McRae that TPE

The How:
- Filter all current Academy players
- Exclude all GKs (sorry, this is an outfield only activity today)
- Exclude all 250 TPE inactives
- Export all 38 eligible Academy players into excel
- Dig in

The Analysis:
Names
- Most of the draftees start with a T (Tadgh O'Hurley, Teddy Fantobens, Tex Star, Thomas Thunder, Thor Bǫllrstoppari, Tobias Gruber, Tyson Blaze = 7)
- Two Cal's in the class! (Cal McRae, Callum Wiggins)
- Average first name length is ~6 letters
- Most of the class' last names start with an S (Adrian Scochnikov, Michael Sithole, Brenden Smith, Tex Star = 5)
- Three edible last names seems to be the most common theme (Bonnibel Bubblegum, His Cheeseburger, Marvin Fish)
- Average last name length is ~7 letters

Nationality
- USA births the most draftees at 9
- Followed by Australia, Canada, and England with 4 each

Position
- 27 out of 38 of the class (!) are able to play as an attacking midfielder
- AM right, center, and striker the most common combination (4)

Team
- Three teams share the most Academy players at present, with seven in total: PS Jakarta, Atlético Medellin, Victoria Falls Eagles

Technical Skills
Average of every player's current technical skill distributions:
Corners = 5
Crossing = 8
Dribbling = 9
Finishing = 8
First Touch = 9
Free Kicks = 5
Heading = 6
Long Shots = 6
Long Throws = 5
Marking = 7
Passing = 9
Penalty Taking = 5
Tackling = 7
Technique = 8

Mental Skills
Average of every player's current mental skill distributions:
Aggression = 6
Anticipation = 9
Bravery = 6
Composure = 8
Concentration = 7
Decisions = 8
Determination = 6
Flair = 6
Leadership = 5
Off the Ball = 7
Positioning = 7
Teamwork = 7
Vision = 7
Work Rate = 8

Physical Skills
Average of every player's current physical skill distributions:
Acceleration = 13
Agility = 9
Balance = 8
Jumping Reach = 8
Pace = 13
Strength = 8

Tidbits:
- Anticipation is the only skill that EVERY player has put at least one point into
- Pace (unsurprisingly) has the heaviest investment so far across the board
- Acceleration has four players with rating of 18 so far (Daan Wouters, Captain MetalBeard, Max Velox, Karry Hane)
- No one goes to set-piece practice. Corners, free kicks, long throws, penalties the four least invested skills

The End Product:

Name: Tallum Sausage
- Starts with T
- 6 letter first name
- Cal/Callum adjacent
- Ends with S
- 7 letter last name
- Edible

Nationality: USA
- Secondary eligibilities: The Commonwealth (Australia, Canada, England)

Position: AM (RC), ST

(Eventual) Team: Atlético Jakarta Eagles

Presenting... the Most Average Season 27 Prospect:
[Image: TSausage.png]

For reference:
[Image: Data.PNG]

Thank-you and adiós
MED

Edit 02/08
A quick post-script as I was tricked by the auto word count when originally posted!

Unfortunately I wasn't able to load Tallum Sausage into the SSL world (edit files and different databases yaddah yaddah yaddah...). However I holidayed ahead to see where time and complete average-ness took the young American attacking midfielder.

Despite his elite fitness and lack of transfer fee, he struggled in selling his talents to a club. Perhaps I should've loaded more leagues.
Eventually, he garnered some decent interest from MLS B-teams including Orlando, New York, Vancouver and Houston. Although many MLS clubs sniffed around him, no material offers came about.
Loading in the English pyramid and MLS also didn't help him find a trial or contract.

Slowly he lost his fitness ratings, as well as some technical and mental attributes.

After fast forwarding two years, Tallum made the tough call at the tender age of 24 that he was simply too average. He announced his retirement on the 1st of January 2025.

He signed off a brief social media post saying, 'thank god for the SSL, where they give guys like me a fair crack'.

[Image: tsret.png]

RE: Academy Task 5 - Creating the Most Average S27 Rookie - Haramcha - 2026-07-25

This is brilliant! Just the stats involved in determining the class average would have been more than enough to constitute a good Academy Task 5 article, but the creation of Tallum Sausage (and in-game, too) goes above and beyond.

After being bullied for being the most average player of S26, it's amazing to see you taking it a step (or a whole mile) further.

RE: Academy Task 5 - Creating the Most Average S27 Rookie - lemonoppy - 2026-07-28

I wonder how this player would perform, 461 words

RE: Academy Task 5 - Creating the Most Average S27 Rookie - GedgeBrah - 2026-08-01

(2026-07-28, 10:12 AM)lemonoppy Wrote: I wonder how this player would perform, 461 words

Deceived by the auto word count. I've added a quick but devastating update for the lad.