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+---- Thread: The match of 7000 corners recap: Alfama vs Guayaquil (/showthread.php?tid=10664)
The match of 7000 corners recap: Alfama vs Guayaquil - Sizz - 2026-08-28
So let’s do a little match recap between our two newest minor league expansion teams that faced off for the first time in a friendly.
Here’s the starting formations…
Alfama (4-1-4-1)
Bubblegum
Holmberg - Scochnikov - CIC - Man
Hawkins
Döner Kebab - Bǫllrstoppari - Plačkovič - Velox
Wall Jr
Guayaquil - (4-2-3-1)
Krunk
Donnie - Bajramović - Gruber
Lasso - Wiggins
Cheeseburger - Tathille - Bear - Rylakn
Towered
FIRST HALF
00:00
Krunk gets us started here by passing back to Lasso who sends it over to the near side to Rylakn. Rylakn wastes no time and starts a run up the flank past Bubblegum who eventually recovers and blocks an attempted low cross. The ball goes out over the end line for the match’s first corner. Bajramović sends the corner into the 6 yard box and Tathille heads it just over the bar. Maybe nerves played a small part there.
04:10
We pick up here and again Rylakn is speeding down the near flank with Holmberg marking him. Holmberg is able to take the ball away, gives it over to Döner Kebab and he tries to clear it up field. The ball lands around the center line and Wiggins takes over. He moves the ball back upfield to Lasso who passes it quickly up to Bajramović. He sends it back over to Wiggins near the touch line and he crosses it over to the far corner of the 6 yard box for a quick header from Bajramović. Unfortunately, it’s a bit too high and it hits the crossbar for an Alfama goal kick.
06:25
Cheeseburger is holding the ball for a throw in. He tosses it to Donnie who quickly passes it back to Cheeseburger followed by another quick pass to Lasso. Lasso sees Krunk making a run and tries a nice pass but it’s intercepted by Plačkovič. He gives it to Velox who doesn’t like what he sees in front of him and gives it back to Plačkovič. He then passes it back to Wall Jr who clears it up field. It’s a tough ball to handle for Bubblegum and it’s coming right for Bajramović but Mullet Man toes it over to Velox. Another one touch pass to Plačkovič and then up to Holmberg, back to Döner Kebab who settles the ball and looks things over. He sends it up to Holmberg on the near side by the center line and he makes a nice run up the near flank. After he’s drawn a few defenders to him, he gives it over to Scochnikov. His shot is blocked and it bounces back to Holmberg at the corner of the 18 yard box. Holmberg passes it over to Velox who tries a semi-volley shot with the ball bouncing but it sails well over the goal. Goal kick for Guayaquil.
20:46
We find ourselves in the center circle and Scochnikov from Alfama has possession. He sends an arcing pass up the pitch and over to Mullet Man on the far side who heads it down to no one in particular and Bread Lasso snatches it up. Bread tries to make a run with it but Hawkins gets a toe on it, it bounces over to Donnie who quickly gives it back to Bajramović and then bolts up the pitch. Cheeseburger, who also quickly turned up the field, receives the ball from Bajramović and dribbles up the far side but cuts inside and moves the ball back to Lasso. There's some open area here and he moves it into the center to Wiggins. Wiggins finds a streaking Bajramović witha through pass but he can't keep control of it. Plačkovič tries to move it out but only ends up giving it to Gruber in a deadly position right outside the 6 yard box and there's no missing from there. Gruber scores the first goal ever for SD Guayaquil and puts them ahead at 21:07.
22:53
Here we have Velox on the far side line in the opponent's end of the pitch for a throw in. He gives it to Mullet Man a bit farther up near the touchline who passes it up the pitch directly to Cheeseburger who takes control from there. He looks over his options and decides to pass it back to Tathille who then passes it back to Towered. He boots it up to Gruber who skillfully receives it and puts it out in front of him. Gruber dribbles onec and takes a powerful shot from close range but it's deflected out by Brick Wall Jr. for another Guayaquil corner on the near side. Bajramović sends it in to the goal area to Bear who tries a header but it’s a tough angle and goes to Brick Wall Jr. He can’t keep hold of it and it bounces back to Bear but his momentum carries him out over the end line. Goal kick for Alfama.
27:35
Döner Kebab has the ball in the opposition area for a throw in. He throws it to Holmberg near the corner and he gives it right back. Rylakn is trying to cover two men and comes up to cover Döner Kebab so he passes it back down to Holmberg and he’s in the penalty area now. He tries a low cross and Jaden CIC smashes it home past Slim Towered for CD Alfama’s first ever goal.
29:06
Cheeseburger is here again with a throw in the opposition area on the far side. He throws it over to Donnie and it’s a quick pass back to Cheeseburger who then crosses it over to Gruber right in front of the goal but Döner Kebab does well to clear it. Holmberg comes over pick up the ball at the near side but he’s tightly marked by Rylakn and loses possession. He cuts in to the middle of the pitch and passes it over to Cheeseburger who dribbles right up to the end line on the far side of the 18 yard box. Hawkins does well to steal the ball and passes it up to Mullet Man who cuts into the middle and streaks down the pitch. He sees a Bubblegum making a run and passes it but their shot goes wide and the play is called for offside.
30:06
Towered here with the goal kick. It’s a booming kick and goes to Bǫllrstoppari who heads it up towards CIC but Lasso wins the duel and heads it down to Gruber. He gives it to Rylakn, then back to Bear, back to Rylakn, back to Bear and finally back to Towered to settle things down and have a look. Now its Tathille and he gives it to Lasso. A quick succession of passes here to Donnie, Bajramović and finally Rylakn but his first touch gets away from him a bit and Döner Kebab recovers the ball inside the 18 yard box. He gives it quickly to Brick Wall Jr who just booms it down field but it’s a touch too far for Bubblegum and Bear heads it up field to Lasso who quickly heads it towards Gruber but Scochnikov stretches and gets a toe on it to pass it back to Mullet Man. Man tries to get it back towards three Alfama players but Donnie manages to steal it away and he’s off to the races with a glorious chance but he can’t keep it down and it goes over the net.
31:42
Döner Kebab is standing by the ball for a free kick a bit past the center line on the near side. He’s looking for CIC on the cross by the looks of it but it’s got too much power and sails past him to Mullet Man by the far corner. Mullet Man takes a look around, gives it back to Hawkins for a quick give to Velox who shoots again but Bajramović charges out to him and gets a foot on it so it sails well over the goal. This gives Alfama a corner on the far side. Scochnikov heads out to take the corner. He sends the ball in to the 6 yard box but Tathille is there to intercept and heads it but not safely out and Plačkovič takes over. He passes it out to Scochnikov who is offside and Guayaquil gets a free kick.
35:31
We’re looking at Towered here who clears the ball well downfield to the near side where Gruber has a beautiful first touch and brings it even further in to the opposition area where he doesn’t like the look of a cross so he passes it back to Wiggins. He sends it inside to Lasso who quickly passes it to Donnie right outside the “D”. Gruber makes a run into the penalty area and Donnie sends a beautiful through pass to him but he can’t control it well enough and it’s over the goal for a goal kick.
41:09
Gruber has it on the far side for a corner. It’s a lovely cross into the 6 yard box to Tathille who heads it in from a really tough angle. Brick Wall Jr gets a hand on it but it’s not enough. 2-1 to Guayaquil.
Half Time
Guayaquil leads 2-1
Half Time Stats
Alfama
Shots: 6
On Target: 2
xG: 1.14
Possession: 60%
Passes Completed: 86% (230/268)
Guayaquil
Shots: 12
On Target: 5
xG: 1.45
Possession: 40%
Passes Completed: 82% (154/187)
Guayaquil clearly had the better play in the first half, doubling the shots of Alfama. Based on the heatmaps of each time, it seems like Alfama has been defending corners for much of the first half.
SECOND HALF
45:00
Bubblegum starts play by passing it back to Döner Kebab who quickly puts it back in the middle of the pitch to Hawkins. The area is congested so Hawkins moves it back to Bǫllrstoppari and then it’s over to Döner Kebab again. He tries a weak pass up towards Holmberg but it’s stolen by Rylakn who turns upfield and starts the attack by cutting inside and up, moving directly towards the goal. Outside the “D” he gives it over to Donnie who lets loose but it sails over the crossbar.
48:06
This seems to be a recurring theme in this game with Bajramović lined up for a corner on the far side. He sends it in nicely but Wiggins can’t outduel Plačkovič in the air. The ball is still contested though and Scochnikov outduels Bear but it’s not safe yet. Donnie picks it up at the corner of the 18 yard box, touches it out to Bajramović and near the far corner of the 6 yard box. He gives it a blast and it’s in for another goal just inside the post on the near side.
54:28
Wall Jr. has the ball on his 6 yard line and he gives it to the near side to Plačkovič. He surveys the options and goes for a stunningly weak pass upfield to Hawkins, but Krunk has just run in to challenge and steals the ball away. A major blunder… Bajramović streaks for the goal and Krunk delivers but Bajramović’s shot is contested by Bǫllrstoppari and it sails over for a corner on the far side. Bajramović sends it in towards goal but Bubblegum has a key header to send it back out towards the far side where it’s over the touch line. Rylakn picks it up for a throw in and sends it to Bajramović right in front of him while Rylakn runs deeper towards the corner where he receives it from Bajramović. He tries a low cross towards some teammates in front of the goal but it’s deflected by Holmberg. Gruber gives it back to Rylakn who is still on the attack and he sends a lovely shot towards the near post that Brick Wall had no chance on.
59:07
Play picks up again with Alfama’s Scochnikov taking a corner on the far side. He sends it in and Cheeseburger heads it but not completely out of danger but Bajramović is there to clean up the situation and he heads it out toward midfield. CIC chases it down and passes it to a wide open Scochnikov by the far corner of the 18 yard box. He has a go and it smashes into the post, bouncing out towards the far corner where Krunk corrals it and sends it upfield to Bajramovic.
61:58
After a save where Brick Wall Jr. punched it wide, Guayaquil is ready for yet another corner. This time it’s Gruber taking it. He sends it toward the near post and low but Bear gets a head on it but he sends it just wide of the near post. Guayaquil is really pouring it on now.
72:55
Our next action in play starts with Cheeseburger on the near side in the attacking half for a throw in. He gives it to an open Bajramović a few yards up the field while he himself makes a run inside. Bajramović dribbles the ball back toward center field and feeds it back to Tathille to see what he can find. He sends it over to his partner in the middle of the back 4, Bear. Bear takes a moment with it and sees Lasso open. A quick pass to him and he one touches it forward again to Krunk making a run and he’s got a golden opportunity. Unfortunately, it was fool’s gold and he bangs it off the pipe but it’s out for yet another corner for Guayaquil on the far side. Bajramović sets in his office for the corner but Mullet Man heads it out for another corner. Again Bajramović sends it in towards the front of the net but Bubblegum heads it out of danger for Alfama.
77:25
After a yellow card is issued to Bǫllrstoppari, Krunk sets up about 5 yards in front of the “D” for a free kick. He tries a curling shot off his right foot to towards goal but Bubblegum in the wall deflects it out for the game’s nine hundredth corner. The corner is quickly headed out by Alfama by Bubblegum again. Maybe Bubblegum should be playing CB.
80:17
Cheeseburger is on the near side about 2 yards from the corner for a throw in. He gives it to Donnie and starts a run towards the goal himself. Donnie tries a give and go but Holmberg is there to thwart the plan but the ball rolls past Cheeseburger to Kurnk and he quickly passes to Lasso on the near corner of the 18 yard box. He sends a short cross towards Gruber but Scochnikov sends it out of the penalty area in the direction of Rylakn. He dribbles up towards the end line, sends a cross along the line towards goal but Brick Wall snatches it up. He holds the ball for a few seconds and surveys the field before booming it out past center field to the far side towards Holmberg. Rylakn is there to head it back into the attacking area towards Gruber. Wiggins is there as well to contest and takes the ball up the far flank but Scochnikov works him off the ball and Holmberg tries to control it. The three of them try to control the ball but Rylakn comes in with speed, takes it and passes inside to Gruber. He dribbles past Döner Kebab and passes it to a streaking Bajramović for an easy tap in. Alfama’s back line is looking lost on the play and Guayaquil are really showing their class
82:18
Play picks up again with Rylakn on the far side, once again in the attacking area for a throw in. He gives it to Wiggins and the ball is moved from there back to Rylakn. He cuts in and up towards the far corner of the 18 and sends it. Brick Wall Jr makes a nice save but it goes out for a Guayaquil corner. Gruber sets up for the corner on the near side, sends it in towards the near post but Bubblegum is there again to clear. Scochnikov races out for it and turns up the pitch.
85:23
Velox now has the ball for a free kick on the near side by the touch line at center field. He doesn’t like the looks of a centering pass from there so he quickly pases to Holmberg who sends it back to Plačkovič. Alfama is ready for this to be over at this point he sends it back to Brick Wall Jr. to start the attack all the way from the back. He gives it back to Plačkovič who sends to the center circle for Hawkins. He threads it through two defenders to CIC who slows down once he receives it and Lasso makes an attempt to steal it. Unfortunately for Guayaquil it bounces farther towards the goal to a streaking Mullet Man who is alone against the keeper. He easily places it past him to make it 5-2 Guayaquil. It seems to be a little too late for any theatrics here.
86:10
Krunk starts up play again and gives it back to Cheeseburger behind him on the near side. Several quick passes later and it’s Cheeseburger dribbling up the near side flank with Mullet Man chasing him. Velox comes out to challenge him but decides he’s not in the mood for a cheeseburger at the moment and let’s him keep running with it. He sends in a short cross to Krunk. He heads it straight to Brick Wall Jr but the play is called for offside anyway.
89:18
Here we have Cheeseburger on the near side in the defensive area for a throw in. He sends it back to Tathille who has cheated over to the side to give him an option. There’s some quick passes to Bajramović to Cheeseburger to Donnie who then finds Wiggins streaking up the middle of the field. He gives it over to Rylakn on the far side who then cuts inside to feed it to Cheeseburger and after some sweet dribbling he sends a low pass to Gruber who blasts it home past Brick Wall Jr. 6-2 Guayaquil.
93:11
Krunk stands with the ball ready for a free kick about 12 yards from the far corner of the 18 yard box. He sends a lovely cross over the wall to Lasso who sends it over the goal and the final whistle blows…
Summary
Guayaquil simply outclassed their expansion brethren in this matchup with over three times the shots (28 to 9) and over three times the shots on goal (13 to 4). xG gives us a telling story with 4.4 for Guayaquil and only 1.54 for Alfama. The second half was clearly a forgettable one for Alfama. It was utter domination of one side over the other here.
Man of the match is an easy one this time around with Tobias Gruber scoring twice and assisting on three other goals.
I’m not really sure why I put myself through this…
RE: The match of 7000 corners recap: Alfama vs Guayaquil - Domffl - 2026-08-28
I appreciate your sacrifice. Hopefully the millions of virtual dollars can help console you xD
RE: The match of 7000 corners recap: Alfama vs Guayaquil - Sizz - 2026-08-28
(2026-08-28, 08:36 AM)Domffl Wrote: I appreciate your sacrifice. Hopefully the millions of virtual dollars can help console you xD
I think if I ever do this again I'll make sure to put some more humor into it.
RE: The match of 7000 corners recap: Alfama vs Guayaquil - PBubs900 - 2026-08-28
Center back it is
RE: The match of 7000 corners recap: Alfama vs Guayaquil - Rylakn - 2026-08-28
Great write up mate, I can't imagine how painstaking this was to write.
I enjoyed that often reading the descriptions of my players actions it's clear he's got pace and lacks other attributes haha.
RE: The match of 7000 corners recap: Alfama vs Guayaquil - Sizz - 2026-08-28
(2026-08-28, 02:28 PM)Rylakn Wrote: Great write up mate, I can't imagine how painstaking this was to write.
I enjoyed that often reading the descriptions of my players actions it's clear he's got pace and lacks other attributes haha.
Haha yeah next time I'll put some more personality into it. But it was mostly painful because we got smoked.
RE: The match of 7000 corners recap: Alfama vs Guayaquil - Sizz - 2026-08-28
(2026-08-28, 02:28 PM)Rylakn Wrote: Great write up mate, I can't imagine how painstaking this was to write.
I enjoyed that often reading the descriptions of my players actions it's clear he's got pace and lacks other attributes haha.
You had a really nice goal though. Watching it, you'd assume you've got much higher finishing.