2025-04-13, 08:21 PM - Word count: 225
Management caught up with Bernardo Fry with exciting news.
Manager: Good news Bernardo, we're discontinuing your position on the team!
Fry: What? How? I don't understand! This is the worst news ever, except for that time I lost my motorbike keys down the sewer and had to go swimming to find them! What will I do now, am I being traded?
Manager: Oh goodness no, you won't be getting off that easily. We have a new role in mind for you, which is mostly almost entirely partly not similar to the position you used to be playing.
Fry: Whaaaa... does that even mean anything? How will I learn the new position?
Manager: We have programmed in the new positional requirements into this 12 pack of Slurm. You'll have to drink it to update your DNA with the new requirements. No longer will you be playing on the left, you will slide over to the middle to occupy the defensive midfielder position.
Fry: But I don't know anything about defending!
Manager: Irrelevant, the die has already been cast. Drink the slurm, and we'll inject you with further performance enhancers to bring you up to the correct size and strength for your new position.
Fry: I don't understand!
At a signal from the manager, Zoidberg injects Fry with some enhancements.
Manager: Good news Bernardo, we're discontinuing your position on the team!
Fry: What? How? I don't understand! This is the worst news ever, except for that time I lost my motorbike keys down the sewer and had to go swimming to find them! What will I do now, am I being traded?
Manager: Oh goodness no, you won't be getting off that easily. We have a new role in mind for you, which is mostly almost entirely partly not similar to the position you used to be playing.
Fry: Whaaaa... does that even mean anything? How will I learn the new position?
Manager: We have programmed in the new positional requirements into this 12 pack of Slurm. You'll have to drink it to update your DNA with the new requirements. No longer will you be playing on the left, you will slide over to the middle to occupy the defensive midfielder position.
Fry: But I don't know anything about defending!
Manager: Irrelevant, the die has already been cast. Drink the slurm, and we'll inject you with further performance enhancers to bring you up to the correct size and strength for your new position.
Fry: I don't understand!
At a signal from the manager, Zoidberg injects Fry with some enhancements.
![[Image: qgFfIx6.png]](https://i.imgur.com/qgFfIx6.png)
