A day in the life of Floppy McFlopface

[Zombiewolf]

Today I will be writing an article about a typical day in the life of Floppy McFlopface. Floppy takes his job very seriously. He wants to live up to his name and in order to flop professionally he must keep up with his athletic ability. He typically wakes up around ten after a session of getting so drunk he blacks out and eats a balanced breakfast of cookie crisp cereal and poptarts (which are not easy to find in Spain mind you). Once he forces breakfast down his throat he takes a 30 minute power nap as he most likely got about three hours of good sleep the night before and then stumbles his way to practice late by about a few hours. He is not all that worried about playing well during practice because he only gets about 5 minutes a game anyways. He usually plays okay during practice as he is still an elite player and is able to keep up with the rest of his team but it is still obvious he is not alright in the head. After practice he does his own practice which consists of him faking injuries and rolling around in the dirt to try and master the ability to sell an injury. Once that is done is takes a shot before driving his way to a bar where he spends the rest of the night drinking. His drink of choice is generally either a dark and stormy or a whiskey sour but really anything that gets the job done. After drinking at the bar he usually stumbles his way back to his apartment before he passes out and does it all over again. That is during practice days during game days it is a little different but that is a story for another time.

[Reno]

no one rolls on the ground quite like Floppy