2022-09-04, 10:04 AM - Word count:
Today I will write about what it is like being the elite midfielder for Catalunya, Floppy McFlopface. Floppy McFlopface is projected to be one of the best soccer (it is called soccer) players of all time and he is only on his second (third?) season and yet he is not like most players. For the most part, Floppy does not want to practice, train, get better because that is the boring part of being a soccer player to him. He just wants to get onto the field, roll around after getting breathed on and call it a day. And yet, he is out there scoring goals and making plays. What gives? Well sadly his general managers, Omniscius and Twix, currently hold him hostage and are forcing him to play like a good soccer player against his will. They tell him they will steal his money and put fake stories in the news if he does not play like an actual player. This has been killing Floppy’s morale. It is a sad life Floppy lives. He had no intention of doing a point task this week but Omniscius threatened to leak a fake story about how Floppy likes to give money to Charity. This would kill Floppy’s branding and livelihood so he had to complete the point task. He has looked into joining a support group but has not yet found a group that is willing to take him seriously so he copes with eating Twix bars. In his eyes this is getting back at his manager Twix. All Floppy wants to do is flop a little, yell at the ref, get a yellow card and call it a day. Will anybody step up and save Floppy from this nightmare? Floppy has all but given up and accepted that this is the life he has to live.
