2025-09-16, 03:52 PM - Word count:
Kaspars Kalinins has not yet learned how to actually complete the technique that the soccer world knows as the header. He’s actually pretty good with his feet, and he’s been an effective distributor of the ball, a decent enough defender, and has been running around like a maniac to cover players. He’s got a sneaky shot that he can pull out every now and again.
But once his team gets pinned in his end, especially when they get stuck in a corner kick train, it becomes painfully obvious that he can not, for the life of him, use his head. He is getting dominated, over and over again in the air. Goals coming left, right and center, all potentially defused by a non-existent header. It’s a real problem, and one that he’ll unfortunately need to put a lot of work into, and very soon.
The thing is though, that all of the best heading coaches cost money, and money is one thing that soccer has not offered thus far. He’s made his appearances for the Media, he’s opened up to sponsorship deals. He’s even gotten some interest through his agent about his writing contributions to a local Swedish paper. However regardless of what he puts in, there never ends up being any more money in his bank account.
We reached out to his agent for comment, but they just responded with a picture of them lighting a stack of cash on fire in front of a brand new Rolls Royce. We’re still investigating what this might mean, but for now, Kaspar’s head is not in fact, in the game.
But once his team gets pinned in his end, especially when they get stuck in a corner kick train, it becomes painfully obvious that he can not, for the life of him, use his head. He is getting dominated, over and over again in the air. Goals coming left, right and center, all potentially defused by a non-existent header. It’s a real problem, and one that he’ll unfortunately need to put a lot of work into, and very soon.
The thing is though, that all of the best heading coaches cost money, and money is one thing that soccer has not offered thus far. He’s made his appearances for the Media, he’s opened up to sponsorship deals. He’s even gotten some interest through his agent about his writing contributions to a local Swedish paper. However regardless of what he puts in, there never ends up being any more money in his bank account.
We reached out to his agent for comment, but they just responded with a picture of them lighting a stack of cash on fire in front of a brand new Rolls Royce. We’re still investigating what this might mean, but for now, Kaspar’s head is not in fact, in the game.
