Turd Ferguson’s Mostly Uninformed S24 Mock Draft

[Turd Ferguson]

Welcome, dear reader, to the heart of draft season. We’re in the thick of things now – scouts are out in full force while the prospects finish up their academy season, and war rooms across the league are on high alert. And of course it’s time for the mocks to start flowing. So sit down, grab some eggnog, throw another log on the fire, and dig in to Turd Ferguson’s Mostly Uninformed Mock Draft!
 
1.01  Tokyo S.C. – Bodhi Grizz - @Ltblackgrizzly - CDM - 409 TPE
Analysis: Tokyo gets the nicest guy in the draft (and probably the best at gutting a fish) in Ltblackgrizzly, a mainstay in the ISFL and longtime GM of the Norfolk Seawolves in the DSFL. With needs across the board on defense and in the midfield, LT fits on the roster, and his activity in the discord speaks for itself. This is a slam dunk first overall pick for Tokyo.
 
1.02  CD Tenochtitlan – Turd Ferguson - @Turd Ferguson - LWB - 392 TPE
Analysis: Trade alert! I’m writing this before the official draft order has been posted, but I’m pretty sure I saw somewhere that CD Tenochtitlan traded picks 10 and 11 to CABA to get the 2nd overall pick. They move up here and grab ya boy Turd. True to my name, I am perfectly suited to being #2! This is an interesting spot for me to go, as my sources tell me CD Tenochtitlan’s biggest need is goalkeeper. But at the same time, the vibes are right and I have been telling scouts I’m willing to play any position. Could a big old reroll be in the offing? Without any max earning GK prospects in the draft (apologies to Brad Woof – mid earners are people too!), it makes sense to grab a high earner who is willing to stick between the posts.
 
1.03  Schwarzwälder FV - Lisfor ilovezeagLe - @lemonoppy- CAM - 430 TPE
Analysis: The class TPE leader and media GOAT falls right into Schwarzwälder’s lap at third overall. Lemon, one of the leading users in the ISFL, should continue to max earn for the forseeable future. And as his own excellent (read: far superior to mine) mock draft analysis pointed out, SFV is in need of an attacking midfielder and lemon fits the bill. This pick is a no brainer for the lads from the forest.
 
1.04  Xelajú Cósmico FC – Scat Cat - @Soviet Sexpot - ST - 423 TPE
Analysis: A bit of a surprise here, as Scat Cat falls all the way to fourth. This fall is more about team needs from the squads drafting 1-3 than anything wrong with Scat Cat as a prospect, because what more could you want? The academy MVP (I know there isn’t an MVP award but there should be and it should go to Scat Cat) had a marvelous season for the Eagles and has been all over the forums and discord. They are here to stay and this honestly might be the steal of the draft if they actually fall to fourth overall.
 
1.05  CF Catalunya – Peach Toadstool - @WildfireMicro - ST - 396 TPE
Analysis: Wildfire Micro has been around sim leagues for a while, and having been in a couple different leagues with them I can say they are a great user who will contribute to the conversation wherever they go. They’ve also been active in making graphics, which is always a boost to the locker room. On the field, Peach Toadstool formed a dynamic duo with Scat Cat for the Victoria Falls Eagles, leading the squad to an academy championship. This pick should be an easy choice for CF Catalunya.
 
1.06  A.C. Romana - Austin Morley @soevil - CD - 413 TPE
Analysis: Another longtime ISFLer, soevil is a great user who has publicly said he’s willing to play any position to help the squad. Add in an avowed desire to max earn, and soevil should be an easy choice here. This is that rare situation where A.C. Romana can both fill a positional need and grab the best player available with their pick, making this pick a slam dunk for the club.
 
1.07 Liffeyside Celtic FC – Stefano Rosini @Steee - LAM - 405 TPE
Analysis: And with that, all of the top 5 TPE earners in this class are off the board. While this isn’t the best positional fit given Liffeyside’s need for strikers, Steee has been one of the more active users in this draft class and his contributions on the discord and in the forums surely have been noticed by scouts and OMs across the league. And an attacking midfielder is still a useful position to have when you are in need of some extra offensive help!
 
1.08  Reykjavik United – Vumion Stitcherson @Vumion - RWB - 346 TPE
Analysis: Beyond the obvious positional fit for a team that currently does not roster a wingback in the minors, Vumion is a great user who, as the GM of the London Royals in the DSFL, will bring a ton of sim testing and scouting experience to his new locker room. I think the vibes and sim experience will make this a value pick in the long run, despite Vumion not max earning thus far.
 
1.09  Liffeyside Celtic FC – Patrick Zweig @saket23 - CAM - 373 TPE
Analysis: With their second selection in the last three picks, Liffeyside goes right back into the midfielder pool, taking my personal goat Saket. A long time sim leaguer, saket is one of my GMs in PBE (go Swifties!) and I can say he has cultivated a great locker room experience for me and my teammates. He’s an all around great guy and Liffeyside are fortunate to grab him here at ninth overall.
 
1.10  CABA – Miester Blobbé @Jelley - ST - 398 TPE
Analysis: Even with jelley’s recent declaration that due to life circumstances he will not be super active moving forward, CABA pulls the ripcord on the otherwise promising young striker. I considered dropping jelley to the second round, but given the lack of depth in this draft and the allure of jelley potentially returning in the future, I choose to believe he will still sneak into the first round. As long as jelley can at least manage to hit his activity checks moving forward, this pick could work out quite well for CABA.
 
1.11  CABA – Otto Rocket @Prayl07 - RM - 356 TPE
Analysis: Patrick has been more active on the discord recently, and seems to be ramping up for a long and productive career. His TPE total is impressive given he only joined this draft class a couple weeks ago, and he should only continue to climb the TPE leaderboard as time goes on. So CABA matches their risky pick at 10 with a safe investment in the future at 11.
 
1.12  CF Catalunya – Brad Woof @Brad Woof - GK - 348 TPE
Analysis: While Catalunya has a great GK in their minors system in sloth, I do see a need for keeper at the majors level somewhat soon, leaving a hole in the minors roster and a potential landing spot here for Brad Woof, who, if his ISFL career is any indicator, should be a solid high-mid earner moving forward. Catalunya can’t risk their goalie of the future getting nabbed before they pick again at 17, so they scoop him up here with the final pick of the first round.
 
2.13  Tokyo S.C. – Stan Smith @armond2193 - CAM - 336 TPE
Analysis: After going defense with their first pick, Tokyo picks up a playmaker on the rise with Stan Smith. Armond has been a positive presence in the academy chats all throughout draft season, and should be a fun addition to the Tokyo locker room.
 
2.14   CABA – Tito Esposito @coachsj35 - CAM - 335 TPE
Analysis: CABA grabs a recreate here, as coach had created a goalkeeper over the summer that didn’t end up panning out. However, with this player he has hit every activity check, so he appears to be on a solid TPE trajectory and is worth a pick up here towards the top of the round.
 
2.15   Liffeyside Celtic FC – Xuxu Jang @davidlostt7 - RAM - 322 TPE
Analysis: Having showed more signs of activity in the past few days with a nice forum post, Liffeyside takes a shot on a guy who has been low earning but could potentially make a charge up the TPE leaderboard with the right environment. An intriguing pickup here for Liffeyside.
 
2.16  Xelajú Cósmico FC – Sergio Raskel @Pannekoek - CDM - 329 TPE
Analysis: After getting potentially the top striker in the draft class with their first pick, Xelajú looks to shore up their defense here with a solid user in pannekoek. At this point in the draft teams are looking for active users, and pannekoek fits the bill, having hit his ACs and purchased some equipment. At this point that’s all you can really ask for.
 
2.17  CF Catalunya - Allen Gray @Rager - CAM - 337 TPE
Analysis: He has been steadily hitting all his activity checks, and if Catalunya can coach him up on purchasing equipment and doing weekly preds and PTs, rager could develop into a strong player down the road. This is a project pick with the chance to blossom into a genuine steal.
 
2.18  União São Paulo – Robert Robertson @Arctic - CD - 330 TPE
Analysis: USP has been patiently waiting to make their first pick of this draft, and when their turn finally comes they pounce, getting the guy they wanted all along. Arctic is a great user and one of my players over in DSFL (go Yotes!) so I might be biased, but I think his vibes are top notch and he will be a great addition to the USP locker room.
 
2.19   Liffeyside Celtic FC – Oscar Action @Sen - RAM - 329 TPE
Analysis: Sen was around for a couple of weeks before going inactive sometime near the end of November, then returning again by mid-December. While this little hiccup cost them some TPE, they appear to be active again and ready to earn.
 
2.20  Reykjavik United - Jonathon Jameston @Joriel - CM - 331 TPE
Analysis: Reykjavik take a flier on a guy who has gone inactive but has a strong record of activity in the ISFL and SHL. If they can lure joriel back to the SSL and keep him active, this could end up being a first-round value. Until then, it’s a shot in the dark.
 
2.21  Tokyo S.C. – Johnboy Maiava @KiwiFooty12 - CAM - 322 TPE
Analysis: A relatively late create who is just now showing signs of activity, this is a bit of a project player. But with the proper support and introduction to the league, KiwiFooty could use some of their bank to catch up on TPE via equipment and kickstart a successful career.
 
2.22   CD Tenochtitlan – Hunter Jackson @hunterdjackson2004 - GK - 310 TPE
Analysis: Although he has gone inactive, CD Tenochtitlan are desperate enough for a goalkeeper that they grab Hunter here and hope they can convince him to at least hit a weekly activity check.
 
2.23  União São Paulo – Jerry Kirkland @chaserck - CM - 313 TPE
Analysis: Chaser is teetering on the verge of inactivity, so USP will have to hope they can get in touch with this user and get them up to speed.
 
2.24   CF Catalunya – Takaharu Suzuki @Sajkashi - CM - 311 TPE
Analysis: This user created at the very start of the draft class then went inactive for an extended period before returning three weeks ago, having hit every activity check since. Catalunya will hope to keep this streak of activity up and parlay it into a productive midfielder down the road.
 
3.25  Tokyo S.C. – Nick Dusk @HelloBeeper - CD - 304 TPE
Analysis: This actually has the potential to be a great pick and I can see hellobeeper going even higher than this. Having just created on December 21, they were one of the final additions to this draft class but have hit both their activity checks so far. Plenty of potential for future earning here, making this a low risk, high reward pickup for Tokyo.
 
3.26 CABA – Sami Bahoum @TheRealSBH - LAM - 316 TPE
Analysis: SBH appears to have gone inactive shortly after creating, which is unfortunate because they racked up a decent amount of TPE before disappearing. If they come back they have a strong foundation on which they can build.
 
3.27  Schwarzwälder FV – Huxley vin Merritein @favenviro - CM - 287 TPE
Analysis: Faven went IA a while ago. We await their return like the coming of Gandalf at the Battle of Helm’s Deep.
 
3.28  Xelajú Cósmico FC – Francis Mburu @mcfrasier - LD - 256 TPE
Analysis: Another longterm IA, Frasier has left the building.
 
3.29  CF Catalunya – Lukas Harlad @hi121314 - LD - 250 TPE 
Analysis: Mr. Irrelevant never hit a single AC and their profile shows up as -100 banked TPE. Not sure what’s going on there, but I guess someone’s gotta take the inactives!

[lemonoppy]

Great mock, accurate too, 5/5