2022-07-21, 12:56 PM - Word count:
Seoul MFC is proud to welcome K Clamence and Bud-Lite "Large Box" McGuirk to the club. As part of their welcome, we'd like to ink some shiny new contracts for S5. Therefore, the following CONTRACT RENEGOTIATIONS have been offered:
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K Clamence @captjanko
S5: 7mil
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Bud-Lite "Large Box" McGuirk @HalfEatenOnionBagel
S5: 7mil
Clauses*
I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts Clause - Seoul MFC will install EMF detectors in all team facilities. Should a paranormal presence be detected on any non-matchday, Bud-Lite may lock down all facilities and initiate a ghost hunt for the next 27.5 hours.
Time to Kick Some Ice Clause - Seoul MFC will host an end-of-season ice cream party for all team members. Seoul MFC must provide an ice cream cake in the shape of Bud-Lite's face that when presented is exactly 0 degrees Celsius. Bud-Lite must be able to personally confirm the temperature of the cake or this contract is null and void.
It's The End of The World as We Know it and I Feel Fine Clause - This contract must be paid out in full regardless of imminent apocalypse or world-ending phenomenon. Bud-Lite may pursue this payment in full even in the afterlife or equivalent state of being, including reincarnation, if the contract's full value has not yet been paid out. If an exchange rate into post-mortem currency cannot be determined, a third-party arbiter will be elected to determine the proper valuation.
Konami Clause - This contract will be paid out exclusively in unmarked, nonconsecutive quarters barring the activation of the "It's The End of The World as We Know it and I Feel Fine" Clause.
Bone Apple Tea Clause - After every match in which Bud-Lite scores a goal or makes an assist, Seoul MFC must prepare for Bud-Lite the following recipe: Heat very large pot of oil (at least 15 inches in diameter) to 350°F. Begin assembling a taco: start by filling a crunchy taco shell with ground beef, and topping with lettuce, tomatoes, southwestern sauce, and nacho cheese. Spread refried beans on a flour tortilla, and wrap around taco shell. Place monterey jack cheese on a toasted corn tortilla, and wrap that around the flour tortilla. Fill a chalupa shell with guacamolito sauce and place the multi-layered taco inside. Place the chalupa taco into a corn husk, and top with pico de gallo - bake in a 350°F oven for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, cover a single crepe with scrambled eggs, merguez sausage, and gruyere cheese. Take the taco out of the oven, remove the corn husk, and wrap inside the crepe. Place the crepe-taco onto a meat lovers pizza, wrap it around the taco, and finish by wrapping a blueberry pancake around the pizza. Press together as tightly as possible without breaking any of the layers. Secure with long wooden skewers, and using a wide casserole pan filled with some beer batter, cover the entire taco in batter. Using extreme caution, place the battered taco in the hot oil, basting with a metal ladle if not completely covered by the oil. Fry for 10 minutes on each side, until golden brown and crispy all over. Remove from the oil and allow to cool for 5-10 minutes on a wire rack in a rimmed baking sheet. Fill a canvas bag with vegetarian chili, and place the taco inside.
*Clauses are non-contract for legal reasons
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Please reply with "Accept" to sign your renegotiated deals!
--
K Clamence @captjanko
S5: 7mil
--
Bud-Lite "Large Box" McGuirk @HalfEatenOnionBagel
S5: 7mil
Clauses*
I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts Clause - Seoul MFC will install EMF detectors in all team facilities. Should a paranormal presence be detected on any non-matchday, Bud-Lite may lock down all facilities and initiate a ghost hunt for the next 27.5 hours.
Time to Kick Some Ice Clause - Seoul MFC will host an end-of-season ice cream party for all team members. Seoul MFC must provide an ice cream cake in the shape of Bud-Lite's face that when presented is exactly 0 degrees Celsius. Bud-Lite must be able to personally confirm the temperature of the cake or this contract is null and void.
It's The End of The World as We Know it and I Feel Fine Clause - This contract must be paid out in full regardless of imminent apocalypse or world-ending phenomenon. Bud-Lite may pursue this payment in full even in the afterlife or equivalent state of being, including reincarnation, if the contract's full value has not yet been paid out. If an exchange rate into post-mortem currency cannot be determined, a third-party arbiter will be elected to determine the proper valuation.
Konami Clause - This contract will be paid out exclusively in unmarked, nonconsecutive quarters barring the activation of the "It's The End of The World as We Know it and I Feel Fine" Clause.
Bone Apple Tea Clause - After every match in which Bud-Lite scores a goal or makes an assist, Seoul MFC must prepare for Bud-Lite the following recipe: Heat very large pot of oil (at least 15 inches in diameter) to 350°F. Begin assembling a taco: start by filling a crunchy taco shell with ground beef, and topping with lettuce, tomatoes, southwestern sauce, and nacho cheese. Spread refried beans on a flour tortilla, and wrap around taco shell. Place monterey jack cheese on a toasted corn tortilla, and wrap that around the flour tortilla. Fill a chalupa shell with guacamolito sauce and place the multi-layered taco inside. Place the chalupa taco into a corn husk, and top with pico de gallo - bake in a 350°F oven for 5 minutes. Meanwhile, cover a single crepe with scrambled eggs, merguez sausage, and gruyere cheese. Take the taco out of the oven, remove the corn husk, and wrap inside the crepe. Place the crepe-taco onto a meat lovers pizza, wrap it around the taco, and finish by wrapping a blueberry pancake around the pizza. Press together as tightly as possible without breaking any of the layers. Secure with long wooden skewers, and using a wide casserole pan filled with some beer batter, cover the entire taco in batter. Using extreme caution, place the battered taco in the hot oil, basting with a metal ladle if not completely covered by the oil. Fry for 10 minutes on each side, until golden brown and crispy all over. Remove from the oil and allow to cool for 5-10 minutes on a wire rack in a rimmed baking sheet. Fill a canvas bag with vegetarian chili, and place the taco inside.
*Clauses are non-contract for legal reasons
--
Please reply with "Accept" to sign your renegotiated deals!
