2025-09-09, 01:24 PM - Word count:
It was an odd day for Bernardo Fry. Entering the sixth match day he had not been enjoying Slurm Plus as usual, but today it was Galaxy Gin infused with performance enhancers. His training was going well, he had improved across all aspects of attacking. His previous match showed considerable promise, and he had a conversation with his manager about enhancing his contract and his playing time on the pitch.
Heading into the match, Tenochtitlan was looking good, but Fry was optimistic. Last match had him taking every corner kick, and there were numerous opportunities sprung from his wing.
As always, he lined up on the left midfield, alone, ready to force a chance. However, the game started off hot, with Technochillin passing the ball around like Spaniards and easily finding the back of the net. A disappointing start, but Fry was ready. He found the ball on a throw in and fired a cross over, but it went over the bar. The ensuing corner kick was wasted. The first half was a back and forth affair, with not much getting accomplished until late, when Fry found Bonito on an incredible pass over the top and Qartista tapped in the finish. The goal was duly awarded after VAR, and we stood at 1-1.
Into the second half, and Fry was ready to get another goal, but Technochilling stole an errant pass and it was now 1-2 against.
Fry hurled insults and exhortations into the wind and the ball fell to him and he hammered it into the back of the net. The goalkeeper was a mere spectator as the ball flew into the net. 2-2 was the score.
Another quick passing play and with no mistake Fry again put the ball off the far post and into the goal. An incredible performance.
A free kick shortly thereafter, and the ball was cleverly played through and yet again Fry found the net, this time at the near post! This is unprecedented!
Fry took a corner, and after another pass we stood at 5-2! Cataluna will rise again!
Sadly, Bernardo was not wearing a hat, but we have a hat trick anyway!
Moving into the last 15 minutes of the game, surely this must be the last shout for Technochillin. Fry continues to put pressure on. An incredible save by Twinkletoes keeps the team in the game. This was sufficient to seal the deal, and Catalunya took home the victoryl
Post Match Interview:
Reporter: Bernardo, your team is at the bottom of the league, how did you find the motivation to get this performance today? You have not been known as a goal scorer *at all* thusfar. What has changed?
Bernardo: Whelp, I took a different performance enhancing drug today, that might have helped. I believe it said it would help me to "focus harder in difficult situations"
Reporter: And for your second goal, how can you differentiate that from your first goal?
Bernardo: For the first goal, I just kicked the ball as hard as inhumanly possible. On the second goal, I slowed down and aimed at that far post, and clipped it perfectly into the net. Now - for the third goal that you didn't ask about, I just swung my foot at the ball, you know how that goes. Sometimes you just get lucky a third time!
Reporter: Congratulations, how are you planning to follow up this momentous achievement?
Bernardo: More practice, more drugs, more assists! I cannot be the leading scorer on this team, that much is clear. In the next match I expect to see three assists next to my name on the scoresheet.
Heading into the match, Tenochtitlan was looking good, but Fry was optimistic. Last match had him taking every corner kick, and there were numerous opportunities sprung from his wing.
As always, he lined up on the left midfield, alone, ready to force a chance. However, the game started off hot, with Technochillin passing the ball around like Spaniards and easily finding the back of the net. A disappointing start, but Fry was ready. He found the ball on a throw in and fired a cross over, but it went over the bar. The ensuing corner kick was wasted. The first half was a back and forth affair, with not much getting accomplished until late, when Fry found Bonito on an incredible pass over the top and Qartista tapped in the finish. The goal was duly awarded after VAR, and we stood at 1-1.
Into the second half, and Fry was ready to get another goal, but Technochilling stole an errant pass and it was now 1-2 against.
Fry hurled insults and exhortations into the wind and the ball fell to him and he hammered it into the back of the net. The goalkeeper was a mere spectator as the ball flew into the net. 2-2 was the score.
Another quick passing play and with no mistake Fry again put the ball off the far post and into the goal. An incredible performance.
A free kick shortly thereafter, and the ball was cleverly played through and yet again Fry found the net, this time at the near post! This is unprecedented!
Fry took a corner, and after another pass we stood at 5-2! Cataluna will rise again!
Sadly, Bernardo was not wearing a hat, but we have a hat trick anyway!
Moving into the last 15 minutes of the game, surely this must be the last shout for Technochillin. Fry continues to put pressure on. An incredible save by Twinkletoes keeps the team in the game. This was sufficient to seal the deal, and Catalunya took home the victoryl
Post Match Interview:
Reporter: Bernardo, your team is at the bottom of the league, how did you find the motivation to get this performance today? You have not been known as a goal scorer *at all* thusfar. What has changed?
Bernardo: Whelp, I took a different performance enhancing drug today, that might have helped. I believe it said it would help me to "focus harder in difficult situations"
Reporter: And for your second goal, how can you differentiate that from your first goal?
Bernardo: For the first goal, I just kicked the ball as hard as inhumanly possible. On the second goal, I slowed down and aimed at that far post, and clipped it perfectly into the net. Now - for the third goal that you didn't ask about, I just swung my foot at the ball, you know how that goes. Sometimes you just get lucky a third time!
Reporter: Congratulations, how are you planning to follow up this momentous achievement?
Bernardo: More practice, more drugs, more assists! I cannot be the leading scorer on this team, that much is clear. In the next match I expect to see three assists next to my name on the scoresheet.
