2026-05-25, 02:29 PM - Word count:
I thought it would be interesting to recap the historic Port Royal season (and earn a bounty as well so that I can afford some more TPE before the season ends). I’ll start by going over each match day and finish with some closing thoughts.
MD1 Home vs Sydney City 4-2
A great start to the season and a hint of what to expect for the rest of the season right? After a 1-0 lead at half time, Port Royal poured it on with their 3 remaining goals at 46, 52, and 60. They would be on cruise control for the rest of the match. Port Royal led in xG the whole match with a fairly large margin until Sydney City got a bit closer towards the last quarter of the match.
MD2 Away vs Stockholm IK 0-3
This game was evenly matched despite the score suggesting otherwise. Both teams were fairly close on the main statistical categories. Port Royal Scorp E. Unshark with the own goal before half time though to add salt on the wound.
MD3 Away vs Atletico 0-3
Getting shut out by a bot team. I’m not sure there are words to describe the feeling. Port Royal led in xG the entire match and every statistical category (shots, on target, possession, and passes completed) excluding goals.
MD4 Home vs Adowa Accra FC 0-2
Owen Goal’s first game this season as he joined the season late. It was quite forgettable. You would think with Adowa Accra Che Youz getting injured in the 1st minute of the game that Port Royal would be able to capitalize. They did not. They had advantage in possession at 64% to 36%, but everything else was in favor of Adowa Accra including the result.
MD5 Away vs Victoria Falls 1-7
Look, I don’t know if it would’ve made a huge difference. But when your goalie gets injured at the 12 minute mark and it has been scoreless up until that point and then the final is 1-7 maybe it would’ve been more competitive had he not gotten injured. It was 2-1 at one point and then 3-1 at the half. Port Royal got less than half of Victoria Falls xG 1.68 to 4.23. They could not stop Victoria Falls Nacho Kusora who scored 4 goals and had a 10.0 rating. Kusora wasn’t even the player of the match. It was their other 10.0 rated player, Alex Pena who had 4 assists, 5 clear cut chances, along with a goal.
MD6 Home vs PS Jakarta 7-2
Port Royal faces the bot version of Jakarta. Port Royal has a flurry of goals in the first half. The score is 5-0 before halftime. Port Royal dominates in all phases of the game. 5.76 xG to 0.44, 31 shots to 4, and 54% to 46% possession all in favor of Port Royal. Two players on Port Royal had a chance for a hat trick but could not get there in the end. This is the peak of the mountain for Port Royal this season. Just watch this one and assume all the other games went like this.
MD7 Away vs Istanbul F.K. 0-4
Istanbul got an early 4-0 lead by halftime with their first score in the 5th minute of the match. That was pretty much it. Port Royal had most of the momentum in the 2nd half, but no points to show for it.
MD8 Home vs Stockholm IK 4-2
This was kind of the inverse of the previous game. Port Royal got an early lead with two quick goals at the 7th and 8th minute. Sorry just missed you six seven fans out there. It was 4-0 before Stockholm would score. We entered half time at 4-1. Stockholm would score one penalty at the 50th minute and that would be it. Not going to lie I was getting a little worried we might collapse in the second half. Port Royal led in xG this entire game. Owen no Goal gets player of the match. Go me!
MD9 Away vs Sydney City 0-0
A double goose egg. Port Royal led in xG in the first half and then it was mostly Sydney City who caught up and passed Port Royal in xG in the second half. A fairly boring affair as Port Royal tried to break the turtle of Sydney City with no success.
MD10 Home vs Atletico 3-0
Thank goodness for a revenge match against a bot team. We got a chance to get that team morale up. Port Royal has a two goal lead by half time. Atletico’s Powdered ToastMan Legend decides to help out Port Royal with an own goal at the 63rd minute. I’ll take all the help I can get this season. Our first shut out win of the season. It only took 10 match days to get there.
MD11 Away vs Adowa Accra FC 2-4
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
That landslide? Adowa Accra FC Eden Garcia. He came out of nowhere with his (as of this writing) 310 TPE and scores a hat trick with some of the least likely goals you’ll have ever seen. Those 3 goals are his only goals of the season (unless he scores in MD14 and my data is out of date) and he outscored Port Royal by himself in this match. Port Royal finished this game with 2.72 xG compared to 1.6 for Adowa Accra FC.
MD12 Home vs Victoria Falls 1-5
This game was a disaster from start to finish. Sadie Black from Port Royal gets a red card in the 24th minute. Victoria Falls scores at minute 25. Then the flood gates open with Victoria Falls goals at 27, 31, and 37 minutes. Victoria Falls decides to grant mercy by not scoring again until the end of the match. This match in particular makes me wish red cards (and injuries) were not possible/enabled in the sim (as in players do not do things that get red cards or cause injuries). The early red card made the match largely unwatchable – all suspense gone, just a trainwreck in slow motion. I think the overall user experience is worse with those two things. Now I’ll get off my soapbox. Victoria Falls is Port Royal kryptonite. Although that can probably be said about a lot of teams for Port Royal this season. A total 2-12 goal differential across their games this season.
MD13 Away vs PS Jakarta 3-5
Port Royal looked to sweep PS Jakarta. However, this time, Jakarta had some real players and would be playing at home. This game started 3-1 for Port Royal and became 3-2 at the half. Then Port Royal was on the defensive for basically the rest of the match. They ultimately conceded 4 straight goals by Jakarta after starting 3-1. What a royal collapse.
MD14 Home vs Istanbul F.K. 3-2
I am not sure how common own goals are. But to be part of a 3rd match with an own goal must be unlikely right? Istanbul F.K. Peter Casteliani scores an own goal 5 minutes in and Port Royal would lead for the whole match. It was 3-0 after Owen Goal’s goal at the 62 minute mark. Istanbul scored two quick goals at the 74th and 76th minute making the Port Royal fans sweat toward the last bit of the match. Fortunately for them, Port Royal was able to hold on. Port Royal dominated in xG 3.36 to 1.39, had a solid lead in possession 58% to 42%, and had most of the momentum in the match. At least the team was able to end the season with a win.
Closing Thoughts
Highest total team TPE all season and highest average team TPE starting April 5th through the rest of the season. At one point, for total TPE we had a ~300 TPE lead over the next highest team. At that same point in the season, we had a ~30 TPE per player advantage as well.
What do we have to show for all of this? Not even half of the points of the team in first place and a losing record. A common theme in many of the matches was Port Royal leading or even in xG but none or very few goals to show for it compared to their opponent. This should’ve been a slam dunk season with title hopes. I’m not sure who is to blame for this disaster. Maybe it is just sim simming. At least it is over.
Has there been a team as unlucky as this season’s Port Royal?
MD1 Home vs Sydney City 4-2
A great start to the season and a hint of what to expect for the rest of the season right? After a 1-0 lead at half time, Port Royal poured it on with their 3 remaining goals at 46, 52, and 60. They would be on cruise control for the rest of the match. Port Royal led in xG the whole match with a fairly large margin until Sydney City got a bit closer towards the last quarter of the match.
MD2 Away vs Stockholm IK 0-3
This game was evenly matched despite the score suggesting otherwise. Both teams were fairly close on the main statistical categories. Port Royal Scorp E. Unshark with the own goal before half time though to add salt on the wound.
MD3 Away vs Atletico 0-3
Getting shut out by a bot team. I’m not sure there are words to describe the feeling. Port Royal led in xG the entire match and every statistical category (shots, on target, possession, and passes completed) excluding goals.
MD4 Home vs Adowa Accra FC 0-2
Owen Goal’s first game this season as he joined the season late. It was quite forgettable. You would think with Adowa Accra Che Youz getting injured in the 1st minute of the game that Port Royal would be able to capitalize. They did not. They had advantage in possession at 64% to 36%, but everything else was in favor of Adowa Accra including the result.
MD5 Away vs Victoria Falls 1-7
Look, I don’t know if it would’ve made a huge difference. But when your goalie gets injured at the 12 minute mark and it has been scoreless up until that point and then the final is 1-7 maybe it would’ve been more competitive had he not gotten injured. It was 2-1 at one point and then 3-1 at the half. Port Royal got less than half of Victoria Falls xG 1.68 to 4.23. They could not stop Victoria Falls Nacho Kusora who scored 4 goals and had a 10.0 rating. Kusora wasn’t even the player of the match. It was their other 10.0 rated player, Alex Pena who had 4 assists, 5 clear cut chances, along with a goal.
MD6 Home vs PS Jakarta 7-2
Port Royal faces the bot version of Jakarta. Port Royal has a flurry of goals in the first half. The score is 5-0 before halftime. Port Royal dominates in all phases of the game. 5.76 xG to 0.44, 31 shots to 4, and 54% to 46% possession all in favor of Port Royal. Two players on Port Royal had a chance for a hat trick but could not get there in the end. This is the peak of the mountain for Port Royal this season. Just watch this one and assume all the other games went like this.
MD7 Away vs Istanbul F.K. 0-4
Istanbul got an early 4-0 lead by halftime with their first score in the 5th minute of the match. That was pretty much it. Port Royal had most of the momentum in the 2nd half, but no points to show for it.
MD8 Home vs Stockholm IK 4-2
This was kind of the inverse of the previous game. Port Royal got an early lead with two quick goals at the 7th and 8th minute. Sorry just missed you six seven fans out there. It was 4-0 before Stockholm would score. We entered half time at 4-1. Stockholm would score one penalty at the 50th minute and that would be it. Not going to lie I was getting a little worried we might collapse in the second half. Port Royal led in xG this entire game. Owen no Goal gets player of the match. Go me!
MD9 Away vs Sydney City 0-0
A double goose egg. Port Royal led in xG in the first half and then it was mostly Sydney City who caught up and passed Port Royal in xG in the second half. A fairly boring affair as Port Royal tried to break the turtle of Sydney City with no success.
MD10 Home vs Atletico 3-0
Thank goodness for a revenge match against a bot team. We got a chance to get that team morale up. Port Royal has a two goal lead by half time. Atletico’s Powdered ToastMan Legend decides to help out Port Royal with an own goal at the 63rd minute. I’ll take all the help I can get this season. Our first shut out win of the season. It only took 10 match days to get there.
MD11 Away vs Adowa Accra FC 2-4
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide
That landslide? Adowa Accra FC Eden Garcia. He came out of nowhere with his (as of this writing) 310 TPE and scores a hat trick with some of the least likely goals you’ll have ever seen. Those 3 goals are his only goals of the season (unless he scores in MD14 and my data is out of date) and he outscored Port Royal by himself in this match. Port Royal finished this game with 2.72 xG compared to 1.6 for Adowa Accra FC.
MD12 Home vs Victoria Falls 1-5
This game was a disaster from start to finish. Sadie Black from Port Royal gets a red card in the 24th minute. Victoria Falls scores at minute 25. Then the flood gates open with Victoria Falls goals at 27, 31, and 37 minutes. Victoria Falls decides to grant mercy by not scoring again until the end of the match. This match in particular makes me wish red cards (and injuries) were not possible/enabled in the sim (as in players do not do things that get red cards or cause injuries). The early red card made the match largely unwatchable – all suspense gone, just a trainwreck in slow motion. I think the overall user experience is worse with those two things. Now I’ll get off my soapbox. Victoria Falls is Port Royal kryptonite. Although that can probably be said about a lot of teams for Port Royal this season. A total 2-12 goal differential across their games this season.
MD13 Away vs PS Jakarta 3-5
Port Royal looked to sweep PS Jakarta. However, this time, Jakarta had some real players and would be playing at home. This game started 3-1 for Port Royal and became 3-2 at the half. Then Port Royal was on the defensive for basically the rest of the match. They ultimately conceded 4 straight goals by Jakarta after starting 3-1. What a royal collapse.
MD14 Home vs Istanbul F.K. 3-2
I am not sure how common own goals are. But to be part of a 3rd match with an own goal must be unlikely right? Istanbul F.K. Peter Casteliani scores an own goal 5 minutes in and Port Royal would lead for the whole match. It was 3-0 after Owen Goal’s goal at the 62 minute mark. Istanbul scored two quick goals at the 74th and 76th minute making the Port Royal fans sweat toward the last bit of the match. Fortunately for them, Port Royal was able to hold on. Port Royal dominated in xG 3.36 to 1.39, had a solid lead in possession 58% to 42%, and had most of the momentum in the match. At least the team was able to end the season with a win.
Closing Thoughts
Highest total team TPE all season and highest average team TPE starting April 5th through the rest of the season. At one point, for total TPE we had a ~300 TPE lead over the next highest team. At that same point in the season, we had a ~30 TPE per player advantage as well.
What do we have to show for all of this? Not even half of the points of the team in first place and a losing record. A common theme in many of the matches was Port Royal leading or even in xG but none or very few goals to show for it compared to their opponent. This should’ve been a slam dunk season with title hopes. I’m not sure who is to blame for this disaster. Maybe it is just sim simming. At least it is over.
Has there been a team as unlucky as this season’s Port Royal?
![[Image: Barry-Mc-Glynn-Downscale-Sig.png]](https://i.postimg.cc/1X4wkhs1/Barry-Mc-Glynn-Downscale-Sig.png)
