2026-06-08, 10:58 AM - Word count:
After the draft, Owen Goal bid his Port Royal teammates farewell. It was time to move and get settled in Paris. He signed his contract and was eager to see what kind of accommodation he could afford in Paris. Turns out not much in the location he was interested in. He wanted something close to the training facility as well as the stadium so he wouldn’t have to spend too much time traveling. Owen settled on a nice little loft that had a nice rooftop garden for his bonsai collection. One of the reasons he picked this place was a surprise to him. It was walking distance to a legendary bakery. As he was touring housing options, he stopped by the bakery and became addicted. He had never tasted French butter before. He must have eaten eight baguettes in the span of 24 hours.
In his next team meeting, team officials were concerned with his weight gain and had serious conversations with him regarding his new addiction and weight. Butter addiction is a serious underrepresented issue. The team ultimately decided they would hire a counselor to help monitor his addiction and he would agree to weight loss surgery to get him into playing shape.
As part of the surgery, they also made him shorter so he would be more aerodynamic on the pitch. That will likely be the first things fans notice when they next see him in game.
For Owen Goal, it has been a whirlwind couple of days. He is now recovering from surgery and expects to be ready to go when his number is called. But now he also has dreams of opening a cattle ranch in France when his playing days are over.
In his next team meeting, team officials were concerned with his weight gain and had serious conversations with him regarding his new addiction and weight. Butter addiction is a serious underrepresented issue. The team ultimately decided they would hire a counselor to help monitor his addiction and he would agree to weight loss surgery to get him into playing shape.
As part of the surgery, they also made him shorter so he would be more aerodynamic on the pitch. That will likely be the first things fans notice when they next see him in game.
For Owen Goal, it has been a whirlwind couple of days. He is now recovering from surgery and expects to be ready to go when his number is called. But now he also has dreams of opening a cattle ranch in France when his playing days are over.
