2022-06-25, 02:36 PM - Word count:
Mr. Hlemýžď has entered the league in a somewhat understated way - drafted as one of the last available players, he has slotted into the middle of the roster of the Cairo football team, and out of that position he has enjoyed a decent season, certainly making the front office of Cairo extremely happy with a late draft steal, or as the youngsters would call it, a "yoink". However, this success comes with the unfortunate side effect. The league, being broadcasted and watched mostly by Americans, suddenly had to deal with the pronounciation of the name of mr. Hlemýžď, whose Czech roots have created a ungodly and inhuman torture of a name to pronounce to the users of the abomination that is the English language. This wouldn't have been issue has mr. Hlemýžď been, as touted during the draft, just a small blip on the radar of the SSL, and would have been forgotten by the league as quickly as they have learned of him, but mr. Hlemýžď had different plans. With his 3 goals this season already, mr. Hlemýžď has been creating situations where his name simply had to be pronounced, but wasn't thanks to the inability of the English commentators to create the alien and unfamiliar noises required by the Czech language. With a little training though, mr. Hlemýžď hopes to have the chance to hear his name sound from the commentators stand in it's full, correct entirety very, very soon, and he will try his very best to make it so that his name will have to be repeated and trained by the whole league of SSL by his on pitch performances. Mr. Hlemýžď therefore extends his gratitude towards the Cairo City management to give him a chance to terorize the common folk of the SSL with his name, his presence, and for some weird reason, his absolutely disgusting shots that look like they shouldn't actually be real, and spin the heads of even the most devoted of football followers.
