2022-08-18, 11:16 AM - Word count:
For all of my fans across the league who saw the theme week article I posted before, I have to rewrite this because I don't know how to read guidelines. I am deeply sorry to my fan base and I hope you can all forgive me, but here is my new theme week dream team. My dream team will be random SSL players that I find to have weird names. I don't know anyone on this site so I'm going for the randomness.
We will still run the basic 4-3-3 and I will pick players as I find them on the index.
Starting with, A Singular Tub of FazeBerry ® GFuel ® Energy Forumla - The Offiicial Drink of ESports ®. I am not choosing your player because it is the first one to pop up on player pages through the index, but because.... like seriously what is this name AND WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG TO TYPE. What even is your last name? Do you have one or is it just one really long first name. Anyways I'm putting you at center midfield because your name is a sports drinks so you must have a lot of energy and can run forever. You have a lot of speed and defending attributes so defender would be best, but I don't care.
B1g Mack. No explanation needed, your name has the number one in it and you are product of McDonalds. I would guess you eat a lot of Big Macs and are severely overweight. For this reason you will play center back and be a huge body in our half.
Bud-Lite "Large Box" McGuirk. We are three players in and I am so confused. First of all Bud Light isn't even that great of a beer. I remember drinking it when I was 15 when I didn't know what else to steal from my parents. You have to be an alcoholic and for that reason you will play left wing. We will use you as a distraction to piss off opponents' defenders.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Phineas and Ferb name, I love it. The dude was always making up inventions and was a dumb genius. Let's hope you are a smart genius on the field and can control the middle of our midfield core with B1g Mack's big arse behind you on defense and the sports drink on your side.
Heh Heh. Were your parents high with the giggles when naming you? I may have giggled myself when reading your name, no shame. Either way you're going to play center striker with the alcoholic on your left side.
K Clamence. There's no way your first name is one letter that is hilarious. Your name is so basic that you will play right midfield for no reason except that I feel like it.
Lamp Lamp. ..... Lamp. Go to right wing to play with the alcoholic and the giggler.
Mega Mind. I feel like you're actually not smart but I'll trust the name. I'll put you in net so that hopefully you can read the field wtih your self claimed big brain.
Oliver Kahn't Stop Shots. This is just funny and you have to play goal keeper now. I'll move you between the pipes and Mega Mind can play left back to be your first option.
Ricky Bobby. If you ain't first you're last right. Well you're the last midfielder for this team, left side to be exact.
Scott Sterling. Man's a legend, I know I've made two goalie changes already but I need this dude in net for us. Bro will save every penalty shot and leave each game with a roughed up face. Oliver Kahn't Stop Shots can move to center back so that he is somewhat close to the net I guess.
Last but not least I'm choosing my player, AJ Williams, because I feel like it. Right back acquired.
Here is my low effort dream team, enjoy:
Bud-Lite "Large Box" McGuirk, Heh Heh, Lamp Lamp
Ricky Bobby, A Singular Tub of FazeBerry ® GFuel ® Energy Forumla - The Offiicial Drink of ESports ®, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, K Clamence
Mega Mind, B1g Mack, Oliver Kahn't Stop Shots, AJ Williams
Scott Sterling
We will still run the basic 4-3-3 and I will pick players as I find them on the index.
Starting with, A Singular Tub of FazeBerry ® GFuel ® Energy Forumla - The Offiicial Drink of ESports ®. I am not choosing your player because it is the first one to pop up on player pages through the index, but because.... like seriously what is this name AND WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG TO TYPE. What even is your last name? Do you have one or is it just one really long first name. Anyways I'm putting you at center midfield because your name is a sports drinks so you must have a lot of energy and can run forever. You have a lot of speed and defending attributes so defender would be best, but I don't care.
B1g Mack. No explanation needed, your name has the number one in it and you are product of McDonalds. I would guess you eat a lot of Big Macs and are severely overweight. For this reason you will play center back and be a huge body in our half.
Bud-Lite "Large Box" McGuirk. We are three players in and I am so confused. First of all Bud Light isn't even that great of a beer. I remember drinking it when I was 15 when I didn't know what else to steal from my parents. You have to be an alcoholic and for that reason you will play left wing. We will use you as a distraction to piss off opponents' defenders.
Dr. Doofenshmirtz. Phineas and Ferb name, I love it. The dude was always making up inventions and was a dumb genius. Let's hope you are a smart genius on the field and can control the middle of our midfield core with B1g Mack's big arse behind you on defense and the sports drink on your side.
Heh Heh. Were your parents high with the giggles when naming you? I may have giggled myself when reading your name, no shame. Either way you're going to play center striker with the alcoholic on your left side.
K Clamence. There's no way your first name is one letter that is hilarious. Your name is so basic that you will play right midfield for no reason except that I feel like it.
Lamp Lamp. ..... Lamp. Go to right wing to play with the alcoholic and the giggler.
Mega Mind. I feel like you're actually not smart but I'll trust the name. I'll put you in net so that hopefully you can read the field wtih your self claimed big brain.
Oliver Kahn't Stop Shots. This is just funny and you have to play goal keeper now. I'll move you between the pipes and Mega Mind can play left back to be your first option.
Ricky Bobby. If you ain't first you're last right. Well you're the last midfielder for this team, left side to be exact.
Scott Sterling. Man's a legend, I know I've made two goalie changes already but I need this dude in net for us. Bro will save every penalty shot and leave each game with a roughed up face. Oliver Kahn't Stop Shots can move to center back so that he is somewhat close to the net I guess.
Last but not least I'm choosing my player, AJ Williams, because I feel like it. Right back acquired.
Here is my low effort dream team, enjoy:
Bud-Lite "Large Box" McGuirk, Heh Heh, Lamp Lamp
Ricky Bobby, A Singular Tub of FazeBerry ® GFuel ® Energy Forumla - The Offiicial Drink of ESports ®, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, K Clamence
Mega Mind, B1g Mack, Oliver Kahn't Stop Shots, AJ Williams
Scott Sterling
