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Hey, Jude #14 Asiania End Cymru Hopes in Quarters
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SSL TRAINING GROUND, Undisclosed Location, Earth — Cymru a Lloegr’s stay in the World Simulation Football Classic came to an abrupt, and somewhat premature, end on Friday.

After a strong showing in the group stage, Y Tri Dreigiau were unceremoniously dumped 4-2 by Asiania in the quarterfinal round.

It was a brave effort from the (mostly) Welsh and English players, but ultimately the superior midfield quality of Asiania (in the sense that Asiania actually bothered to use midfielders) led the Cranes to victory.

“We just came up short,” said Jude Greer, Cymru’s lone American transferee shortly after the match. “No excuses.”

Cymru actually opened the scoring, when emergency transfer goalkeeper Jannik Andersen hit a long ball over the top and found striker Paul Penshaw. Liang Kuai hit back for Asiania soon afterward, however, and a 25-yard screamer from Berocka Aloisi made the score 2-1 to Asiania at the half.

Any hopes of a quick response by the Three Dragons after the break were quickly snuffed out by another fantastic long-range strike, this time by Kuai, who notched his second goal on the day.

“You barely ever see a goal like those a couple times a season,” a bemused Greer said. “And then you get two either side of the break? That’s when you know it isn’t gonna be your day.”

Penshaw clawed another goal back for the Bretons late in the second half, but a strike on 85 minutes by new Black Forest/Montreal draftee Wang Zhihao put paid to any hopes of a heroic comeback.

Greer himself had a chance to score from a close-range shot on goal in the second half, but fired his effort directly at Asiania keeper and fellow Tokyo/Cairo player Donny Roobe.

“I haven’t had a chance to shoot in a while, so I guess I just froze up,” Greer admitted. “I hope the coaches at Tokyo and Cairo can see their way clear to letting me try again in the league sometime. I’ll get the knack back with some practice, I bet.”

Elsewhere, the Baltic Sea Commonwealth stunned the United States on penalties 1-1 (4-2), Canada were likewise bounced in a shootout with a tenacious Americas squad, 2-2 (5-3) and a millimeter-perfect goal by C.A.S. U.A.L. lifted Africa to a late 1-0 victory over North Sea.

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