2026-02-10, 07:26 PM - Word count:
An Ode to Bob
As a small thanks to Bob Berendsen, the first person I chatted with after joining SSL, I opted to do my deep dive on their career. Yes, I joined all of 11 hours ago, but we talked a lot, or I did, anyway. Bob either enjoyed it or was decent enough to pretend. Either way, it struck me as a fun way to explore the sim a little and get some more mileage about of the conversation.
Bob was such a font of knowledge, so eager to engage, and seemingly well connected (read: employed) with the league that I assumed they were a long-standing player. Cue me finding them in the index and seeing just one complete season and two apperances in the new one. I assumed they must have recreated, but could find no evidence of it. It's entirely possible that I overlooked something, but I decided to run with the info I have despite expecting to be doing this with years and multiple players.
The rest of the story
On to the career of Bob Berendsen, a left attacking midfield / right wingback with AS Paris. Bob's career started with a bang (again, assuming I'm reading anything correctly here on my first day), winning the minor championship with their club. Bob picked up 3 goals and 12 assists en route to a 7.74 rating across 26.5 appearances.
Matchday 20 seems to have been a particular highlight with a repetition of 9s that pleases certain parts of my brain:
![[Image: BjmMCxn.png]](https://i.imgur.com/BjmMCxn.png)
As a (terrible, no good) long-time soccer management sim enjoyer, I've always found ratings like that amusing. I know how they're made, but for heaven's sake, just round that up to 10. Throw the poor guy a bone. The next game they'll probably break both legs and miss ff=our seasons. Let them have this one.
This is where I discovered that I can't readily get a simple log for more than the most recent 10 matches played, so I ran with it. I had hoped to look up the worst game he'd played to establish Bob's general uselessness, but not of those most recent matches were all that terrible, so I had to just wing it. And would you look at this. I think the opposition name sums it up nicely:
![[Image: vKST1F8.png]](https://i.imgur.com/vKST1F8.png)
FCK indeed, Bob, FCK indeed. What a useless lump.
Looking at Bob's attributes, he sure does love getting up to speed and having a lot of it when he gets there. As a newcomer myself, should I model my player this way? Who knows, but a "lucky" academy will find out soon. In a round-about way, looking through Bob's player did prompt questions that will, I hope, lead me to a little more understanding of how the sim works and what I should build towards. Another common Berendsen win, answering questions they didn't even know I had.
Bob stocks
After digging through various stats, asking @roquefort many questions, and arriving at what I thought would be the end, I saw that the index charts a player's career TPE progression. I called my broker and cashed out my entire portfolio. Just look at this! I want to invest in Bob.
![[Image: by6X1YI.png]](https://i.imgur.com/by6X1YI.png)
What's on those axes? Who cares. Invest in Bob today!
Hail Bob!
This is to you, McDonalds-themed Lumberjack. Thanks for everything. You were a blast to chat with and (unexpectedly) taking a glance at your brief career was instructive. Hail Bob!
As a small thanks to Bob Berendsen, the first person I chatted with after joining SSL, I opted to do my deep dive on their career. Yes, I joined all of 11 hours ago, but we talked a lot, or I did, anyway. Bob either enjoyed it or was decent enough to pretend. Either way, it struck me as a fun way to explore the sim a little and get some more mileage about of the conversation.
Bob was such a font of knowledge, so eager to engage, and seemingly well connected (read: employed) with the league that I assumed they were a long-standing player. Cue me finding them in the index and seeing just one complete season and two apperances in the new one. I assumed they must have recreated, but could find no evidence of it. It's entirely possible that I overlooked something, but I decided to run with the info I have despite expecting to be doing this with years and multiple players.
The rest of the story
On to the career of Bob Berendsen, a left attacking midfield / right wingback with AS Paris. Bob's career started with a bang (again, assuming I'm reading anything correctly here on my first day), winning the minor championship with their club. Bob picked up 3 goals and 12 assists en route to a 7.74 rating across 26.5 appearances.
Matchday 20 seems to have been a particular highlight with a repetition of 9s that pleases certain parts of my brain:
As a (terrible, no good) long-time soccer management sim enjoyer, I've always found ratings like that amusing. I know how they're made, but for heaven's sake, just round that up to 10. Throw the poor guy a bone. The next game they'll probably break both legs and miss ff=our seasons. Let them have this one.
This is where I discovered that I can't readily get a simple log for more than the most recent 10 matches played, so I ran with it. I had hoped to look up the worst game he'd played to establish Bob's general uselessness, but not of those most recent matches were all that terrible, so I had to just wing it. And would you look at this. I think the opposition name sums it up nicely:
FCK indeed, Bob, FCK indeed. What a useless lump.
Looking at Bob's attributes, he sure does love getting up to speed and having a lot of it when he gets there. As a newcomer myself, should I model my player this way? Who knows, but a "lucky" academy will find out soon. In a round-about way, looking through Bob's player did prompt questions that will, I hope, lead me to a little more understanding of how the sim works and what I should build towards. Another common Berendsen win, answering questions they didn't even know I had.
Bob stocks
After digging through various stats, asking @roquefort many questions, and arriving at what I thought would be the end, I saw that the index charts a player's career TPE progression. I called my broker and cashed out my entire portfolio. Just look at this! I want to invest in Bob.
What's on those axes? Who cares. Invest in Bob today!
Hail Bob!
This is to you, McDonalds-themed Lumberjack. Thanks for everything. You were a blast to chat with and (unexpectedly) taking a glance at your brief career was instructive. Hail Bob!
![[Image: ySrStzC.jpeg]](https://i.imgur.com/ySrStzC.jpeg)
