The S26 Draft If It Were Unbiased

[Ogreishh]

I've seen so many of these draft predictions, but there's so many problems with them all, so much that it makes the Mullet gods unhappy, but the evil FM gods happy. (except @Frostbite's for having a soft spot for the greatest player since ever) . I've come along today to show everyone what the draft truly will look like except it's only the first round because Tokyo will rebel over not getting what they wanted. (not to turn Tokyo/Cairo into sooks, but it's a valid excuse in my opinion, I too would be rebelling if I didn't get Mullet Man's Beer Belly or his head.)

Needs:
   Every Major/Every Minor- A Tad Bit Of Mullet Mate. (we spoke to each individual manager)


Round One: (the only one here)
1st Pick:  Schwarzvalder/Montreal - Mullet Man's Head @headishh
Many would expect Mullet Man's left foot to be first selected in the draft, considering that it does the hard work, but the head contains the Mullet, the greatest power of Mullet Man. With the power of the Mullet on his head, he will absolutely dominate the leagues for his upcoming long career.
2nd Pick:  Romana/London - Mullet Man's Left Foot @lootishh
Romana select a perfect draft, perhaps only better being the head, taken already in the first pick. If you were the Romana Organizational Manager, you'd be one happy laddy.
3rd Pick: Schwarzvalder/Montreal - Mullet Man's Heart @hartishh
Schwarzvalder are back again in this draft, this time I predict controversially that they select Mullet Man's Heart. Adding context, Schwarzvalder need some heart in the team considering they finished last and something to power the team, like how hearts power life. With context, a extravagant pick from Schwarzvalder, without, a bit confusing.
4th Pick: Buenos Aires/Athenai - Mullet Man's Left Thigh @tighishh
Buenos Aires in their first pick of the draft will look towards the left thigh, who which is able to hold a lot of weight, like the pressure on Buenos Aires shoulders, or should I say thighs. 
5th Pick: Shanghai/Magyar - Mullet Man's Left Knee @lneeishh
Someone who which many would say that he'd be up higher in the draft is only selected fifth by my predictions. The left knee is immense to the game for Magyar in the upcoming season, with insane power the knee can deliver, it'll be a favourite for the top goalscorer.
6th Pick: Xelaju/Masques - Mullet Man's Beer Belly @beerishh
The perfect goalkeeper, Mr. Beer Belly. Immense in size and just as scary as their size would suggest. Little to no goals would be conceded considering that Mr. Beer Belly would cover the whole net.
7th Pick: Shanghai/Magyar - Mullet Man's Right Knee @rneeishh
As the already drafters of their other sided knee, it's a match made in heaven, simple as that. If you'd like to know more, it's a weaker left knee, reread the left knee section if you've already forgot.
8th Pick: Liffeyside/Rova - Mullet Man's Right Foot @rootishh
Left foot but weaker.
9th Pick: Reykjavik/NorthShore - Mullet Man's Brain @branishh
Reykjavik need some brains in their team, and why not get some brains than drafting a literal brain. The halftime speeches get fun when they're asking where their brains are.
10th Pick: SaoPaulo/Paris - Mullet Man's Left Shin @lhinishh
A thigh but lower down the pitch
11th/12th Pick: Hollywood/CapeTown - Mullet Man's Chest and Right Shin @cestishh @rhinishh
Same team, same section. The chest is cool and the right shin is a weaker left shin.

That's it in the unbiased S26 Draft, thank you and goodbye.

[GingerJLD]

This is amazing!

[ReadySalted]

Can confirm I'm distraught at the impossibility of drafting his beer belly

[Frostbite]

But where will Mullet Man’s mullet get drafted??