2026-09-06, 09:59 PM - Word count:
Going into the season, I wasn't really sure what to expect from my player, being a rookie GK playing against some rather scary Division 1 teams. I can now safely say that the start of Swiss Cheese's minor league career has been... very tumultuous and, honestly, funnier than expected.
After going through the draft process, relocating to New Zealand, and meeting their new teammates and coaches, Swiss wanted nothing more than to just get back on the field. When they finally got that opportunity, it was an almost magical experience: walking into the stadium with their new teammates, taking in the crowd's excited cheers, and trying to keep calm ahead of their first game against a tough AS Paris team. Swiss experienced a whole wave of mixed emotions, having taken a big step towards achieving their dreams. They took up their position in net, prepared for whatever was to come next, and... it came to a sudden halt after about 30 minutes as Cheese came off the field with what's been described as a "very bizarre injury". After North Shore's newly drafted slice of cheese was stretchered off the field, medical professionals on the sideline quickly observed that Swiss appeared "smaller than usual and oddly misshapen". They quickly ruled that somebody had gotten hungry partway through the game and decided to help themselves to the nearest snack they could find. This made for an odd and somewhat alarming situation at first, with brief rumors of an internal investigation being conducted to find out who did it. This idea was quickly dismissed, however, at Swiss' own request and due to a lack of evidence regarding who the culprit(s) might be. Swiss quickly went on the record claiming they thought it was just an "unfortunate misunderstanding" and that the culprit was likely under the assumption that Swiss was just an unremarkable piece of cheese that some fan had thrown onto the field. While no investigation or disciplinary action will be pursued, league officials have recently released a statement gently reminding players and staff that "If any league personnel find themselves getting hungry during a game, they should seek out trainers on their sideline who will have some healthy snacks and refreshments available. Eating food you find lying on the field is unsanitary, unsightly, and, if that food is also a league member, unsportsmanlike".
Normally you would think this type of injury would carry a lengthy recovery time, but with NSU's first Cup match of the new season scheduled for the very next day, North Shore management decided they needed to "speed things up here". Before the match against Paris had even concluded, Swiss Cheese was transported out of the stadium to immediately undergo a transplant operation to replace the missing cheese with, well, more cheese. The operation was a success and, paired with a good night's rest, Swiss Cheese woke up the next morning fully recovered and ready to play their first Cup match against IR Casablanca.
Swiss' first match competing for the SSL Cup was basically the opposite of their minor league debut the day before. Not only did Swiss Cheese escape this match unscathed, but they performed quite well, and North Shore was able to secure an underdog victory. After the game, Swiss told the local media that they were "fired up and more determined than ever" to both show off their skills properly and show the world that their injury was just a fluke that won't impact their future. Despite allowing 2 goals, Swiss Cheese recorded an 81.8% save percentage, a player rating of 7.8, and secured Player of the Match honors, becoming the first goalkeeper to do so in this season's Cup tournament. Asked for comment, Swiss had this to say: "I give a lot of credit to the team in front of me; their defense made my job easier today, and they were able to score when it counted. Very excited to be out here and prove the doubters wrong after having to spend 1 whole evening listening to questions about my durability and whatnot. It's been a strange whirlwind of a first week for me, and we all know my first game didn't go very well, but I'm fully healthy, feeling better than ever, and I'm just excited to help my team get some more wins".
After going through the draft process, relocating to New Zealand, and meeting their new teammates and coaches, Swiss wanted nothing more than to just get back on the field. When they finally got that opportunity, it was an almost magical experience: walking into the stadium with their new teammates, taking in the crowd's excited cheers, and trying to keep calm ahead of their first game against a tough AS Paris team. Swiss experienced a whole wave of mixed emotions, having taken a big step towards achieving their dreams. They took up their position in net, prepared for whatever was to come next, and... it came to a sudden halt after about 30 minutes as Cheese came off the field with what's been described as a "very bizarre injury". After North Shore's newly drafted slice of cheese was stretchered off the field, medical professionals on the sideline quickly observed that Swiss appeared "smaller than usual and oddly misshapen". They quickly ruled that somebody had gotten hungry partway through the game and decided to help themselves to the nearest snack they could find. This made for an odd and somewhat alarming situation at first, with brief rumors of an internal investigation being conducted to find out who did it. This idea was quickly dismissed, however, at Swiss' own request and due to a lack of evidence regarding who the culprit(s) might be. Swiss quickly went on the record claiming they thought it was just an "unfortunate misunderstanding" and that the culprit was likely under the assumption that Swiss was just an unremarkable piece of cheese that some fan had thrown onto the field. While no investigation or disciplinary action will be pursued, league officials have recently released a statement gently reminding players and staff that "If any league personnel find themselves getting hungry during a game, they should seek out trainers on their sideline who will have some healthy snacks and refreshments available. Eating food you find lying on the field is unsanitary, unsightly, and, if that food is also a league member, unsportsmanlike".
Normally you would think this type of injury would carry a lengthy recovery time, but with NSU's first Cup match of the new season scheduled for the very next day, North Shore management decided they needed to "speed things up here". Before the match against Paris had even concluded, Swiss Cheese was transported out of the stadium to immediately undergo a transplant operation to replace the missing cheese with, well, more cheese. The operation was a success and, paired with a good night's rest, Swiss Cheese woke up the next morning fully recovered and ready to play their first Cup match against IR Casablanca.
Swiss' first match competing for the SSL Cup was basically the opposite of their minor league debut the day before. Not only did Swiss Cheese escape this match unscathed, but they performed quite well, and North Shore was able to secure an underdog victory. After the game, Swiss told the local media that they were "fired up and more determined than ever" to both show off their skills properly and show the world that their injury was just a fluke that won't impact their future. Despite allowing 2 goals, Swiss Cheese recorded an 81.8% save percentage, a player rating of 7.8, and secured Player of the Match honors, becoming the first goalkeeper to do so in this season's Cup tournament. Asked for comment, Swiss had this to say: "I give a lot of credit to the team in front of me; their defense made my job easier today, and they were able to score when it counted. Very excited to be out here and prove the doubters wrong after having to spend 1 whole evening listening to questions about my durability and whatnot. It's been a strange whirlwind of a first week for me, and we all know my first game didn't go very well, but I'm fully healthy, feeling better than ever, and I'm just excited to help my team get some more wins".
