Nein, ich bin kein Yogameister

[ChiefVito]

Going back his roots from childhood Martin Krpan went back to a drink he threw up the most and drank enough on days out to kill a horse. For Martin, the herbal liqueur is not just a drink, it is an essential ritual for every phase of his athletic life. Before matches, he downs a chilled shot(or 4) in the locker room to steady his nerves and ignite his competitive fire. After the final whistle blows, whether celebrating a spectacular defence perforamnce or nursing the sting of defeat, he reaches for the bottle once more, treating it as the ultimate post-game recovery drink.  This routine does not change based on his physical condition. On healthy days, when he is at the peak of his powers, Jägermeister serves as his liquid fuel, keeping his spirits high and his confidence unmatched. Even on sick days, when a fever or a heavy cold threatens to bench him, Martin bypasses traditional medicine. He swears by a warm glass of the dark spirit, firmly believing its 56 herbs possess a secret healing power that can cure any ailment known to sports science. We all know that a drink or 15 can heal a man to his full potential.  When coaches or trainers question his unconventional lifestyle and ask if he is practicing yoga or mindfulness for his mental health, Martin simply laughs them off. He looks them dead in the eye and says:
Nein, ich bin kein Yogameister ich sauf lieber Jägermeister(im not a yoga master i rather drink jagermeister)

[Jack_Pow]

Someone get this guy a Shakti mat immediately.

255 Words.