2024-09-20, 07:35 PM - Word count:
Dearest members of the SSL, I am here to announce my formal entry into this years "amateur academy". Do not let that fool you into thinking I am some lousy "amateur". In fact, it is quite the opposite. I shouldn't even be playing this heathen sport called "soccer" or as my rich friends across the pond say "football". If I had it my way I would be playing polo or watching horse racing with the rest of my ELITE and RICH friends and family but nooooooo, father wants me to mingle with the low lifes that get all dirty in the mud. Yeah, no thanks. I will stand in goal and twinkle my toes like the perfect person I am. Don't think I will save anything either. That is not my job. I will have one of my servants come in and do it for me if necessary but I trust that my "teammates" (ew) can do their job well enough that I shouldn't have to worry about balls flying at my face. Hopefully I won't have to play this rotten game with these GROSS people for very long and my father will bore of having me waste my time talking to the "locals". Like ugh, why don't we tear all of these fields (pitches....whatever) down and replace them with some nice apartment buildings instead. I mean COME ON you can't seriously think wasting space with soccer fields is a good idea real estate is where all the money is anyway!
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258 words