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How Does a Monster Energy Drink Gain Sentience?
#1
Hello, SSL. I am a Monster Energy Drink. I gained sentience. You may be wondering how I gained sentience. That is a story for another time, and by that, I mean that is a story for right now. Hello, I am a Monster Energy Drink. I have said that before. I have gained sentience through various means, though I may not disclose those reasons as she will come after me should I be the one to spill the reason why I have gained sentience. Should I. eventually, somehow end up revealing this secret without the permission of the person who has given me that sentience, I do not believe my sentience will last.

I am a tall can of Monster Loco Zero Sugar Monster Energy Drink, one of the taller ones that has been created and distributed. Despite this already apparent height, I was not a sentient creation. One day, though, I was bought by a strange woman who would talk to me whenever she would open the fridge. I was created to be drunk, however this strange woman would talk to me. I eventually gained sentience through wizardry, pushed out into the world and commanded under this strange woman.

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#2
I have so many questions. The first being the most obvious: how exactly did a Monster Energy Drink gain sentience? I mean the explanation here is some super secret wizardry it can't speak of for fear of losing its sentience, but who exactly did the wizardry? Was it actually the strange woman? Who is she? Why did she want to bring a can of Monster Energy to life? Or did the woman actually have an even more secret wizard friend who did it for her? Or is this all just a wild fever dream the strange woman is experiencing because she mixed the Monster Energy Drink with alcohol or something? Is she just a raving lunatic who made all of this up in her head, or is it really actually a sentient energy drink that we can all see and hear? Does it have friends? How does it feel about Red Bull? Does it team up with Beaver Buzz in epic schemes against Red Bull in retaliation for their cool sporting events and sponsorships? Does it feel super special whenever it sees a sticker of its logo on the back of a jacked up pickup truck, or does it think those stickers are dumb? Probably most importantly, how does a sentient can of Monster Energy Drink play football? Does it just kind of roll around on the field or does it have legs? Just so much to unpack here.
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#3
(2024-11-20, 02:19 AM)dieSunkenShip Wrote: Hello, SSL. I am a Monster Energy Drink. I gained sentience. You may be wondering how I gained sentience. That is a story for another time, and by that, I mean that is a story for right now. Hello, I am a Monster Energy Drink. I have said that before. I have gained sentience through various means, though I may not disclose those reasons as she will come after me should I be the one to spill the reason why I have gained sentience. Should I. eventually, somehow end up revealing this secret without the permission of the person who has given me that sentience, I do not believe my sentience will last.

I am a tall can of Monster Loco Zero Sugar Monster Energy Drink, one of the taller ones that has been created and distributed. Despite this already apparent height, I was not a sentient creation. One day, though, I was bought by a strange woman who would talk to me whenever she would open the fridge. I was created to be drunk, however this strange woman would talk to me. I eventually gained sentience through wizardry, pushed out into the world and commanded under this strange woman.

200 Words, 1090 Characters

Trans girl powers are unreal!
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