GRADED: GRADED: Day in the Life: Andre Caetano on his Sydney City Debut

[DivogoJota]

He certainly had too much chocolate before the match. Whether the lethargy was from the serotonin becoming melatonin, or the crash after a wicked sugar high, one thing was for sure: Andre Caetano had a debut to forget.

Largely invisible for most of the game, I had to remind myself that he actually was on the pitch a few times. Frankly, I would only remember he was playing when he popped up a few times in and around the box to take some shots at goal. Unfortunately, each effort was tamer than the last.

Playing as a ball-winning midfielder, it was impressive how few touches he actually got. He would occasionally get near opposition players, but only when they didn't have the ball. The late demise that afflicted Sydney City can only be explained by his utter incompetence in defense and impotence in attack.

The analysts graciously gave him a 6.9 match rating, but that was likely out of pity more than any semblance of skill. Admittedly, I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn't misreading a 0.0 rating at first.

That is not to say his debut was not entertaining for the neutral. I know I reveled in his misfortune. May this serve as an impetus for him to develop a refined palette. Have a balanced breakfast next time kid, like a Belgian waffle. Add some fruit, orange juice, and a slightly burnt egg. Like a real man.

Correspondence:
Franki Jouranlíst
Belgian Food Network Analyst

[DivogoJota]

Matchday 2: Sydney City at home, facing Victoria Falls

In a match in which Sydney City dominated chances, Victoria Falls were resilient in pegging back the home side with an incisive counter and a clinical set play. Reo Mikage was a deserved MotM with a goal and two assists, showcasing a level of determination and drive that many youth players could learn from. Case in point, Andre Caetano.

Despite what was, admittedly, a marketable improvement over his debut, Caetano yet again showed several holes in his game. He tied for second highest shots on the team (3), but failed to hit the target on any occasion. He lost half his aerial duels and tackles. In fact, he was the ONLY Sydney City player on the day to fail to have a positive success rate, amongst those who attempted a tackle.

An 88% pass completion percentage belies his ineffective in breaking the lines. In closer matches, Caetano will need to be sharper. 

Matchday 3: Sydney City away, facing Atlético Medellín

Sydney City will be wondering how they came away from that match without a single point. While many will point to the referee and the contentious penalty, I choose to point to the man wearing the armband. 

Andre Caetano is, will be, and always has been, a mediocre midfielder. If he stuck to his lane and continued his family legacy of chocolatier'ing, I'd have not batted an eye. Sure it'd have been nepotism, but at least he could hide behind a waterfall of decadent dark chocolate. Instead, he is front and center, averaging a 6.4.

Beyond having a dismal day, he failed at being a captain. After the inexperienced Rupp conceded the penalty, Sydney City looked bereft of ideas and uncertain in front of net. A staunch defensive display by Atlético Medellín earned them three points. A flimsy, forgettable, and feckless performance by Caetano. 

 
Matchday 4: Sydney City at home, facing Stockholm IK

Well look at that, Andre Caetano didn't stink up the joint. Sydney City have to thank the continued brilliance of @louis and a wonderful debut by Esa Nahka. The Finnish midfielder did what Caetano has struggled to do all season: be effective in and around the box.

A 2-2 draw against league leaders Stockholm is not a bad result in the slightest. Yet, it had little to do with anything the Swiss youngster did on the day. Brilliance among the Sydneysider teammates were what drove this draw.

Alright, alright, fine. I will concede that when partnered with a traditional midfield partner, Caetano finally showed some life. While this may be encouraging to some, I worry there is an attitude problem at play. Why didn't he run as hard before? Why was this the only week that he reached 90%+ pass completion and than two successful tackles? We'll see how the season progresses now, but I do wonder if there is a bit of laziness that we are just now coming to terms with. 

...though perhaps it is merely that his teammates got sick of him binging sweets and hid them from him. That *would* explain things I suppose.


Correspondence:
Franki Jouranlíst
Belgian Food Network Analyst

[DivogoJota]

Matchday 5: Sydney City away, facing PS Jakarta

A tight 3-2 win away, playing the bottom of the table side. Ryan "RVE" Van Eyndhoven scored twice to secure the victory, while Kim Minjeong contributed assists on both efforts while slotting in one of their own.

Despite dominating possession, Sydney City could consider themselves lucky to escape with all three points. They mustered a 1.11 xG to their host's 2.36. The blame falls squarely on Caetano and Nahka, as they provided only one clear chance between the pair, and were not credited with an assist. Predictably, it was NOT Caetano who provided said chance.

One can only chuckle at the toothlessness. Jakarta, coming off a 9-0 loss, took Sydney City the distance, and arguably should have won. Fingers would deservedly be pointed at the Swiss kid. Caetano hit the 90% pass accuracy threshold, but failed in 66% of his challenges and missed the target with his shots by the same percentage. He spent most of his afternoon strutting around the pitch like a headless chicken, which also encapsulates his positioning and forward runs.  

Matchday 6: Sydney City at home, facing Istanbul F.K.

It doesn't take a crystal ball to predict how a Sydney City match will go. The offense will be leaned onto heavily, and Caetano will run like Forrest Gump; stupidly and incessantly.

The Sydneysiders won 5-3, giving the neutrals a show and anyone in attendance a match to remember. Ryan Van Eyndhoven continued where he left off last match, having three goal contributions (1G + 2A), meaning he has 5 G+A over the last two matches. An ascending talent.

With the plaudits out of the way, it must be said that the final scoreline belies the second half showing that Sydney City put out. They took a 5-0 lead in the match, only to ship 3 goals towards the end of the match. They looked to be in "party mode" from the 60th minute onward, and Istanbul kept fighting to the end. With a few lucky bounces, we may have seen the bottlejob of the century.

Sydney City will take the second consecutive win and be happy; though, I would not be surprised if the manager of this academy team pulled Andre Caetano aside for a bit of a chit-chat. It is a captain's job to ensure that focus is maintained and heads don't turn too early. Caetano failed in this regard. While he was busy trying fancy passes, he was woeful in the mental and defensive side of the game. The chocoholic attempted 1 tackle and remained planted on the ground, attempting 0 headers all game. Whenever you look, it appears Caetano cannot help but have a flaw in his game. It will be delightful to watch how he leads his side against league-leaders Port Royal in the next match away from home.


Correspondence: 
Franki Jouranlíst 
Belgian Food Network Analyst