GRADED: LemonBluu Best XI - MD12

[lemonoppy]

Welcome to the second last edition of the LemonBluu Best XI! We’re onto a post-Match Day 12 roster and the LemonBluu team has been hard at work tightening up our analysis to make sure that you, loyal reader, are informed of who you should keep your eye out for in the upcoming SSL entry draft!

GK: Denis Mobek (Pablo Kawasaki)

The GK spot is kind of nice, you just have the same people except for one weird week and again we’ve got Mobek and Kawasaki here on our team.

DEF: Tyranno Criminal, Don Lorenzo, Stig Stampe, Cesare Pinkman (Jonny Foster, Sergej Nadj, Trick Johnson)

Part of the LemonBluu change, behind the scenes, is that we’re only considering actives now. With this new filter in place, we’ve got a much more stout defensive core that is less “wing-back-y”. Tyranno Criminal is the one making runs forward in our system while Pinkman, Stampe, and Lorenzo will shuffle and slide to keep the backline strong.

MID: Sam Albinson, Dáibhí Barr, Marean Dohbra, Tonto Tut, Stefan Davidović (Louis Ashworth, Juozas Kupinas)

The goal-scoring machine of Dohbra has fallen from the first midfield spot! By dint of his scoring he’s remaining in the CAM spot instead of moving slightly out of position like Barr is on the LAM side of the field. Tut and Davidović are a strong DM duo with one of the pair being more defensively minded than the other, giving us a lot of flexibility here when in game.

ST: Predrag Dobrić (Jared Scott)

Dobrić has come back for the spot that seems rightfully his in our Best XI exercise! Jared Scott has been chosen for the reserve spot for the second time, coming along strong in the striker rankings. Expect to see some in-depth LemonBluu analysis next season on fan favourite Kim Minjeong as she’s somehow gone from the Best XI squad!

[UptownCord]

Where is Ronflex?

[fAeser]

Tonto Tut my GOAT DM.

[TERMINUSULTIMUS]

LEMONBLUU, YOU ABSOLUTE CLOWNS, YOU STAT-PADDLING, SNAKE-OIL-SELLING, FRAUDULENT FOOTBALLING CHARLATANS, WHAT IS THIS LIST?
YOU DARE CALL THIS A "BEST XI" WITHOUT THE NAME THAT ECHOES THROUGH THE COSMOS LIKE A PLANETARY CATASTROPHE? WITHOUT THE UNYIELDING FORCE OF DESTRUCTION, THE OMNIPOTENT PILLAR OF THE BEAUTIFUL GAME? YOU PRESENT A LIST DEVOID OF TERMINUS ULTIMUS, A LIST THAT MOCKS LOGIC AND REASON, A LIST SO VOID OF SENSE THAT EVEN A DRUNKEN SEAGULL PECKING AT A KEYBOARD COULD’VE COMPILED A BETTER ONE?
WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING? WHAT ARE YOU ANALYZING? DID YOUR ENTIRE TEAM HAVE THEIR EYES REPLACED WITH CABBAGE HEADS? DID YOU ALL FALL INTO A COMA AND WAKE UP IN A UNIVERSE WHERE TERMINUS ULTIMUS DIDN’T SPEND 90 MINUTES ERASING THE VERY CONCEPT OF ATTACKING FOOTBALL FROM HIS OPPONENTS’ MINDS? WHERE WAS YOUR ANALYSIS WHEN HE SENT STRIKERS INTO THE VOID, THEIR SOULS FOREVER LOST IN THE TORMENT OF HIS DEFENSIVE MASTERCLASS?
TYRANNO CRIMINAL? DON LORENZO? CESARE PINKMAN? WHO ARE THESE MERE PEASANTS, THESE FOOTNOTES IN THE GRAND EPIC OF FOOTBALL? THEY WOULD BE REDUCED TO ASHES IN THE PRESENCE OF TERMINUS ULTIMUS, WHO DOES NOT JUST DEFEND—HE REWRITES THE VERY RULES OF THE GAME WITH EVERY CHALLENGE, EVERY INTERCEPTION, EVERY MONSTROUS TACKLE THAT SHAKES THE FOUNDATIONS OF TIME AND SPACE.
AND DO NOT THINK I DIDN’T NOTICE THE MIDFIELD AND ATTACK EITHER—PREDRAG DOBRIĆ? A DECENT STRIKER, SURE, BUT DID HE SINGLE-HANDEDLY TURN A 3-0 DEFICIT INTO A 2-0 VICTORY? DID HE BREAK THE MINDS OF REFEREES SO THOROUGHLY THAT THEY COULDN’T EVEN CONCEIVE OF AWARDING A PENALTY AGAINST HIM? DID HE STARE INTO THE ABYSS AND LAUGH AS IT TRIED TO UNDERSTAND HIS FOOTBALLING PHILOSOPHY? NO.
LEMONBLUU, YOU HAVE EMBARRASSED YOURSELVES. YOUR ANALYSIS IS VOID. YOUR BEST XI IS A SHAM. YOU HAVE DISHONORED THE SPORT. MAY YOU FOREVER BE CURSED TO WATCH LOW-QUALITY HIGHLIGHT REELS WITH AWFUL COMMENTARY.
CORRECT THIS INJUSTICE, OR FACE THE WRATH OF TERMINUS.