2026-08-17, 09:17 AM - Word count:
North Shore, New Zealand, August 17th, 2026 - Marco Tentacles announced today that this will be his final season in the Simulation Soccer League. The left back hailing from Canada will lace up his boots once more for the club he was originally selected by in Season 14; North Shore United.
After being sent down from the Major League in Season 26, he put up 0 goals, 2 assists, and 52 interceptions in 17 appearances with the club. With one more season to go, Marco Tentacles is set to retire as the All-Time Record holder of Yellow Cards (79+) and Tackles Won (785+), and has a chance to move into the top 3 in All-Time Assists as he currently has 113 assists, trailing only Furious Chicken (115), Liang Kuai (118), and Henry Andrews (119).
"I would like to thank all the members of management, my teammates; current and former for helping me get to where I am today, it was a remarkable time both on the pitch and in the locker room competing alongside you. Reykjavik and North Shore have given me plenty of opportunities throughout my career to win and compete and I am glad to have called these places my home and played with this great organization for my entire career. Without them taking a risk on a kid from Canada back in S14, who knows how my career would have panned out. The past 13 seasons have gone by in the blink of an eye and I am privileged to be standing up here on the cusp of my last season to retire as a member of North Shore United." Tentacles said to the press oldly, the sounds of his brittle bones and aching joints echoing throughout the room.
This journalist believes that Marco Tentacles will have a shoe in for the Hall of Fame when it is all said and done, as an All-Time record holder in 2 different stats and top 5 in another should help make a good case for the Committee. In addition to these records, Tentacles has also established quite an impressive trophy cabinet, winning at almost every level.
An Overview of his accomplishments:
Won the Academy with the Victoria Falls Eagles S13
Won the Minor League Title in Seasons 14, 15, 16
Won the SSL Cup for the first time as a Minor League Team against Reykjavik in S15
Won the Major League Title in Seasons 17, 19, 20
Won the SSL Cup in Seasons 15, 18, 19
He won the League Title and Cup in the same season twice, once in the Minors (S15) and once in the Majors (S19)
Minor League Team of the Season - Left Defender Season 15
Rookie of the Year in Season 17
Golden Eye - Most Assists - Season 20
Major Team of the Season - Left Defender Season 20, SUB Season 21, SUB Season 22
These numbers will hopefully go up in what will be Marco's last season. When asked about his future, Tentacles had this to say: "I want to be a player agent, I think it would be great. Helping players find their way to the Major League and being able to help good players become great and getting them to train hard would be ideal." That's all for the Tentacles story for now.
After being sent down from the Major League in Season 26, he put up 0 goals, 2 assists, and 52 interceptions in 17 appearances with the club. With one more season to go, Marco Tentacles is set to retire as the All-Time Record holder of Yellow Cards (79+) and Tackles Won (785+), and has a chance to move into the top 3 in All-Time Assists as he currently has 113 assists, trailing only Furious Chicken (115), Liang Kuai (118), and Henry Andrews (119).
"I would like to thank all the members of management, my teammates; current and former for helping me get to where I am today, it was a remarkable time both on the pitch and in the locker room competing alongside you. Reykjavik and North Shore have given me plenty of opportunities throughout my career to win and compete and I am glad to have called these places my home and played with this great organization for my entire career. Without them taking a risk on a kid from Canada back in S14, who knows how my career would have panned out. The past 13 seasons have gone by in the blink of an eye and I am privileged to be standing up here on the cusp of my last season to retire as a member of North Shore United." Tentacles said to the press oldly, the sounds of his brittle bones and aching joints echoing throughout the room.
This journalist believes that Marco Tentacles will have a shoe in for the Hall of Fame when it is all said and done, as an All-Time record holder in 2 different stats and top 5 in another should help make a good case for the Committee. In addition to these records, Tentacles has also established quite an impressive trophy cabinet, winning at almost every level.
An Overview of his accomplishments:
Won the Academy with the Victoria Falls Eagles S13
Won the Minor League Title in Seasons 14, 15, 16
Won the SSL Cup for the first time as a Minor League Team against Reykjavik in S15
Won the Major League Title in Seasons 17, 19, 20
Won the SSL Cup in Seasons 15, 18, 19
He won the League Title and Cup in the same season twice, once in the Minors (S15) and once in the Majors (S19)
Minor League Team of the Season - Left Defender Season 15
Rookie of the Year in Season 17
Golden Eye - Most Assists - Season 20
Major Team of the Season - Left Defender Season 20, SUB Season 21, SUB Season 22
These numbers will hopefully go up in what will be Marco's last season. When asked about his future, Tentacles had this to say: "I want to be a player agent, I think it would be great. Helping players find their way to the Major League and being able to help good players become great and getting them to train hard would be ideal." That's all for the Tentacles story for now.
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