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Hey Jude #15: Greer Preps for Sophomore Season
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NASHVILLE, Tennessee — As a new Simulation Soccer League season approaches for Cairo City and local talent Jude Greer, questions continue to mount regarding the fullback’s future.

In the wake of what many consider an underwhelming rookie season for the fourth overall draft pick, Greer knows he will have to make significant strides in his second campaign in order to silence the doubters.

“Last season wasn’t great,” Greer said Tuesday, taking a break from his personal training session. “I’m used to being a lot better than what y’all saw last season, but for whatever reason I just wasn’t where I needed to be.”

Greer hopes that this new season will be different.

“A couple of Cairo’s coaches” (Greer indicated the coaches in the distance, waiting for the interview to end) “came out to help me get back in shape for the new season,” the left back said. “We’re mostly working on some mental and physical stuff. Lot of running, lot of mentoring.”

Greer recorded just one goal contribution in Season 12, an assist on Matchday 1 that ultimately proved irrelevant as the Pyramids suffered a 5-1 defeat to eventual Minor League champions Red Star Laos. The rest of Greer’s season was characterized by near misses and mental inexperience, often resulting in the defender being targeted by the more vitriolic elements of the soccer media environment.

“The Athletic ran a piece on me toward the end of the year. ‘Miscue City,’ I think they called it, like ‘Music City’ but bad,” Greer said, citing an article published by the sports journalism outlet from the latter stages of Season 12. “And then David Squires made fun of me in his cartoon one week. But that was pretty funny, I guess, so that didn’t bother me none.”

Greer granted less charity to one Paul Merson, who spent most of last season seizing on every mistake Greer made, regardless of scope, as evidence of his unfitness to play top-tier soccer. This pattern continued through the recent World Simulation Football Classic, during which, following Cymru a Lloegr’s 4-2 quarterfinal defeat to Asiania, the subsequent episode of Merson’s podcast opened with a ten-minute soliloquy regarding Greer’s temporary admission into the English and Welsh federation. During the diatribe, Merson laid into Greer for “tarnishing the proud English footballing tradition” and “making a mockery of international football”, before concluding with the sensational claim that if Greer ever set foot in England again, Merson would “personally tear [Greer’s] passport in half and boot him back across the Atlantic.”

“Stuff like that, that’s just noise,” Greer shrugged. “He can’t play anymore, so instead he’s trying to get in my head and make me wish I’d signed for Arsenal or something. I know it’s up to me to shut him up by playing better, but more’n anything it’s just sad.”

As for Merson’s ultimatum?

“We play Inter London twice a season,” Greer pointed out with a grin. “I’d like to see him try to stop us.”

(494 words)
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