2025-04-15, 01:40 PM - Word count:
The day began like any other matchday, with Mobek waking up at noon, rolling out of bed like a sloth, and barely managing to put on his North Shore jersey. Pre-match routine? Nah, who needed that? He cracked open a can of energy drink, stretched like a cat that had just woken up from a nap, and grabbed a handful of chips for breakfast. The match against F.C. Kaapstad was important, sure, but Mobek didn’t feel the pressure. He didn’t even feel the urgency to get to the stadium on time. His attitude was simple it’s just a game, right?
As the team arrived at the stadium, Mobek was already in his own little world. He completely ignored the other players doing warm-ups. Instead, he found a seat on the bench, tied his boots in the most lazy fashion possible (one knot, barely tight), and unwrapped a candy bar. His pre match routine wasn’t traditional, but who cared? The game would take care of itself, right? He was focused… on his candy bar. Everyone else was stressing, but Mobek was chilling, chewing gum like he was waiting for a bus. Who needs hype or motivation when you’re Mobek?
When the whistle blew to start the match, North Shore looked sharp for about 10 minutes, then Mobek’s attention drifted. Henry Andrews scored in the 6th minute, and Mobek nodded, as if saying to himself, Yeah, good job, Henry, now back to my candy. Kaapstad didn’t look as scary as everyone made them out to be. Everything was fine, right?
After the 4–1 Loss to F.C. Kaapstad
Well, it wasn’t fine. The game ended with a crushing 4–1 defeat, and Mobek was sitting in the locker room, staring at his boots like they were the answer to the universe. He couldn’t quite figure out how everything had gone so wrong. The first half had been fine, 1–1 at halftime perfectly reasonable but the second half was a disaster. The defense had basically collapsed like a cheap chair, and Louis Ashworth, of all people, had been the one to ruin everything.
Henry Fantobens gave Kaapstad the lead in the 61st minute, and then came the penalty in the 85th minute. Mobek didn’t even dive. What was the point? It was like trying to stop a waterfall with a paper towel. Louis Ashworth scored his second, and Mobek just stood there, thinking about his post-match snack. And then, to make it worse, Squidward Tortellini, of all people, one of the most dangerous people alive, sealed the deal with a goal in the 88th minute. Squidward Tortellini! The man had the kind of power that could probably destroy a city if he wanted to. He scored like he was casually popping a balloon. The audacity!
Mobek didn’t have the energy to argue. He was mentally drained, like a phone that had been left on 1% for too long. As his teammates sulked in the locker room, Mobek stood up, stretched dramatically like a bear waking up from hibernation, and tossed his gloves into the trash. "I need a kebab," he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. At least a kebab will fix everything, he thought, or at least distract him for a while. He walked out of the locker room, realizing that the crown had slipped. Maybe I should just stick to kebabs from now on... THE COME BACK IS ON
As the team arrived at the stadium, Mobek was already in his own little world. He completely ignored the other players doing warm-ups. Instead, he found a seat on the bench, tied his boots in the most lazy fashion possible (one knot, barely tight), and unwrapped a candy bar. His pre match routine wasn’t traditional, but who cared? The game would take care of itself, right? He was focused… on his candy bar. Everyone else was stressing, but Mobek was chilling, chewing gum like he was waiting for a bus. Who needs hype or motivation when you’re Mobek?
When the whistle blew to start the match, North Shore looked sharp for about 10 minutes, then Mobek’s attention drifted. Henry Andrews scored in the 6th minute, and Mobek nodded, as if saying to himself, Yeah, good job, Henry, now back to my candy. Kaapstad didn’t look as scary as everyone made them out to be. Everything was fine, right?
After the 4–1 Loss to F.C. Kaapstad
Well, it wasn’t fine. The game ended with a crushing 4–1 defeat, and Mobek was sitting in the locker room, staring at his boots like they were the answer to the universe. He couldn’t quite figure out how everything had gone so wrong. The first half had been fine, 1–1 at halftime perfectly reasonable but the second half was a disaster. The defense had basically collapsed like a cheap chair, and Louis Ashworth, of all people, had been the one to ruin everything.
Henry Fantobens gave Kaapstad the lead in the 61st minute, and then came the penalty in the 85th minute. Mobek didn’t even dive. What was the point? It was like trying to stop a waterfall with a paper towel. Louis Ashworth scored his second, and Mobek just stood there, thinking about his post-match snack. And then, to make it worse, Squidward Tortellini, of all people, one of the most dangerous people alive, sealed the deal with a goal in the 88th minute. Squidward Tortellini! The man had the kind of power that could probably destroy a city if he wanted to. He scored like he was casually popping a balloon. The audacity!
Mobek didn’t have the energy to argue. He was mentally drained, like a phone that had been left on 1% for too long. As his teammates sulked in the locker room, Mobek stood up, stretched dramatically like a bear waking up from hibernation, and tossed his gloves into the trash. "I need a kebab," he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. At least a kebab will fix everything, he thought, or at least distract him for a while. He walked out of the locker room, realizing that the crown had slipped. Maybe I should just stick to kebabs from now on... THE COME BACK IS ON
