Forum Clock: 2026-02-02 05:42 PST
 


Turd Ferguson's Post-Draft Press Conference
#1
Turd Ferguson takes the stage at the CD Tenochtitlan facility the morning after the draft, showing visible signs of a hangover
 
Wow, what a night! I am definitely going to need an Advil after this…Alright, down to business. To all my fans and supporters near and far, I want to say thank you for your tireless support as I worked my way through the academy system and prepared for draft day. It was a long and difficult road, but the results speak for themselves – I am now a part of the best organization in the SSL, and I have no doubt that we will routinely be the class of the league for years to come.
 
As for my upcoming position switch, I know it may come as a shock to those of you who have been following my career, but it is something I have been thinking about for a long time and when Divs approached me about a swap during the pre-draft process I jumped at the opportunity. It will definitely be a big adjustment but I’m looking forward to taking on this challenge, and becoming the Brick Wall of Tenochtitlan.
 
With that I’d like to open up the floor to questions – post them below and I’ll try to answer as best I can before this hangover makes me hurl!
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#2
It is well-known across the Minors that at halftime, Krung Thep captain Mazeed al-Kazmi (@Afrhite) hands out mangoes as a snack to keep everyone spry. Will you partake in this? Will you bring a different snack to share? Has Peter Apostle given you his holy water to cure the hangover yet?
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Credit: Ahtuu
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#3
Yes, with the caveat that I prefer dried mangoes and as such I will be keeping a fruit dehydrator in my locker to ensure I have only the driest of mangoes at halftime. And no I need some of that good good holy water!!
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#4
Mr Turd, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?
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#5
Turd Turd over here!

Scott the scout from Scotts scouting scoop here, I wanted to know what your goal is for your first season? Any personal accolades you would want to achieve?

How do you think you will adjust not only going from wing back to goalkeeper, but going from the academy to the minor league too.
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#6
Mr Ferguson how has going 2nd overall affected your relationship with Grizzly?
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#7
Turd is it true that Calvin Ball is ascending? We've heard rumors that even a drop of his sweat can cure all ailments. Have you tried it??
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#8
(2026-01-06, 07:48 AM)fathands3k Wrote: Mr Turd, your campaign seems to have the momentum of a runaway freight train. Why are you so popular?

All those bribes I've paid out have really paid off!
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#9
(2026-01-06, 07:50 AM)McLumberjack Wrote: Turd Turd over here!

Scott the scout from Scotts scouting scoop here, I wanted to know what your goal is for your first season? Any personal accolades you would want to achieve?

How do you think you will adjust not only going from wing back to goalkeeper, but going from the academy to the minor league too.


You know I'm gunning for the Golden Gloves (or whatever best GK is called), and rack up as many clean sheets as possible. 

The biggest adjustment going from wing back to GK is probably the sheer amount of balls in my face! And a big step up in competition too, so we'll see how things play out. But I think I'm up to the challenge.

(2026-01-06, 08:06 AM)ReadySalted Wrote: Mr Ferguson how has going 2nd overall affected your relationship with Grizzly?


It's made me feel really smart for mocking him first overall. Who knew I had the brains to go with the looks?
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#10
(2026-01-06, 08:27 AM)roquefort Wrote: Turd is it true that Calvin Ball is ascending? We've heard rumors that even a drop of his sweat can cure all ailments. Have you tried it??

Calvin is the GOAT and will be my spirit guide as I figure out this keeper build. Will report back to you on the sweat thing - gotta get ahold of some first!
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