Get to know John Faxe Kondi before the draft

[John Faxe Kondi]

We've met with Stockholm rising star John Faxe Kondi to talk about the upcoming draft.

"John, how did you get into playing football professionally?"

Kondi: "June 10th 2001 I saw Sibusiso Zuma score a scissor kick goal against Brøndby. Ever since I've attempted at least 10.000 scissor kicks."

"And how many of those ended up scoring?"

Kondi: "You know what? Let's talk about something else. I saw this fantastic movie the other day. Norbit. Have you heard of it?"

"John, did you not score any goals out of those 10.000 scissor kicks?"

Kondi: "Sorry, I don't understand the question, but in Norbit, Eddie Murphy plays multiple roles. I've been thinking about doing this in a game of football. I play all 11 positions and nobody notices!"

"Why should a team pick you in the upcoming draft?"

Kondi: "Well, for starters I am excellent at scoring on scissor kicks."

"John..."

Kondi: "It's true. More than 10.000 attempts! Besides that you get a T.E.A.M. player!"

"It's always nice to have a good team pla-"

Kondi: "No. Not a team player. A T.E.A.M. player!"

"Wait...wha-"

Kondi: "TPE EVERY AGONISING MONDAY player. I earn! Every Monday!"

At this point, Kondi had to leave for a hair appointment. He left screaming "I'M GETTING MY HAIR SCISSOR KICKED"

[gaucho12]

Norbit is peak.

[John Faxe Kondi]

Easily a top 5 John Faxe Kondi movie

[Matt Turk]

"TPE Every Agonizing Monday" is brilliant writing. Maybe work on those scissor kicks a little more, though?

Media Grade 3/5